sweetlittlesecrets

2006-08-09T21:20:00.000+08:00

FOR THOSE WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND,
I'VE SHIFTED. (Haha, that boy didnt realise ay?)

http://rosesthatfall.livejournal.com

2006-08-05T17:14:00.000+08:00

SO

LONG

AND

GOODBYE.

It's a new beginning

2006-08-04T19:51:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I REALLY WANT THAT F21 SHADES LUH.
DAMN. DONT THEY EVER KEEP STOCKS?
I. MUST. GET. IT. (:
[/edit]

Sorry that I've lied again! School has really drained the hell out of me. It's almost insanity. Tests, exams, homework and more tests and exams. When will it ever be over? Sorry, I'll upload the pictures ASAP!

Okay, *sweeps off the dust acculumated on my blog*, to start off this entry, I would like to reveal my (not one and only) fear that is rather silly and stupid. I fear the unknown. I realised this when I watched the documentary on Thailand Miss Lim showed us today. It featured tourists scuba diving. The ocean is so vast and of great depth. If I ever happened to be stranded in the middle of the sea, with no nearby islands, I'd rather drown than and let the fishes feed on my carcass than to swim for help. The vastness of the ocean scares me. I dont know what lies beneath. Yeah, and I'm afraid of little fishies swimming near me too. Stupid aye? The only problem is that my boy loves diving. The wonders of Physics. (Remember the law, Opposites attract?) (:

I really need to start getting my future all planned out. I need a direction to work at. I wanted Hospitality and Tourism initially. But it doesnt seem like it now. What sort of jobs can I get out of it? I really need to think about it and not regret it in the future. All I know is that I'm not suitable for those jobs which require me to sit infront of the computer 24/7, or to sit in meetings half the time trying to figure out what those fuckheads are saying. I need to be up and about, doing something I love. (:

Now that's a food for thought.

I'm missing that boy SO MUCH! :(

2006-08-02T17:07:00.000+08:00

HERE'S THE LONG AWAITED ENTRY. Sorry I know I'm such a bloody liar, I said Tuesday but I was way way busy. So here goes my SWEET SIXTEEN. (:

Saturday!
Woke up early and dolled up. Met my baby boy at 11.30 plus. Haha. I was a wee bit late, (as usual). Headed to Cineleisure to catch Lakehouse! Since I was getting hungry, we stopped to grab some small bite. In the end, we settled for beancurd. Haha. Since it was hot, I was taking such a long time to finish it, and we were almost late for the movie! But thankfully, we went in just on time! The advertisements just finished! Lakehouse was sooo sweet! We sat at the couple seats. (: The arm rest could be pulled up. Rather comfy! Hee. He lent me his blazer since I was totally freezing inside. Hee.

We went to take neoprints right after the movie. Yes, I know neo's are stupid, but who cares, we just wanna have fun! (: Pretty pretty! We still have lots of time to spare before dinner so we headed down to Commonwealth first, just in case we cant find that place. Baby kept the location of the restaurant we were going, top secret till the day itself. We're going to Michaelangelo (sp?) and all I know of that place, is that it's an italian restaurant! YAYNESS.

After alighting at commonwealth, we asked around for that place and had to walk quite a distance to that restaurant located at Chip Bee garden. Erm, haha, the address is really weird. Since the restaurant only opens at 6.30pm, we made reservations first. Baby thought reservations costs money! HAHAHA! Okay, so we went lingering around Holland Road shopping centre. The shops that are pretty cool, really. There was this shop selling beads and I was awfully fascinated by them! But my stomach was starting to act up. =x What a great way to spoil the day. It was the sort of terrible ache that will make you feel like puking. Baby hurriedly bought me some food to munch on. I like the sausage! Afterwards, we went walking to FOS. Nothing much there. Then, my stomach was getting real bad and I needed to puke real badly. So we went to a drain and I started puking everything out. Haha, it was really sick. Thanks dear for helping me. Felt loads better after that. There are really a lot of ANG MOHs at Holland Village. Like seriously!! Baby made a joke out of it, that they dont find places like Tampines or Bedok familiar, but when they hear the word HOLLAND, they'd wanna buy a house there! LOL.
It was FINALLY 6.30! We were their first customer! And because we reserved, we got a cushioned sofa table that's meant for a big group. WHEEY. The food smelled delicious! Like gastronomical! Hee! Too bad my stomach wasnt feeling that well for such a good treat. Did you know? It's the top five places (is it right baby?) in Singapore, to wine and dine? Yummy food, but I couldnt finish mine. Hee.

THEY ALSO GAVE US THE MENU FOR LIQUOR. *smile smile smile* We decided to take the risk and ordered a barcadi limon with coke! IT WAS NICE I TELL YOU! And the bartender gave us a complimentary drink. That was very nice of him! He let us try the chocolate shot. I dont know what is it called but its rich chocolate and alcohol! Haha. IT WAS VERY HEAVENLY! BEYOND DESCRIPTION! I totally grinned from ear to ear when it went down my throat! Especially the chocolate. It tasted damn good. He let me have the drink since there was only 1. Thank you honey!! (:

Okay, haha, I know I'm 16, not 18. The bill was pretty nice. Not that bad. Haha. I didnt get high or any sort since I'm such a rare drinker, but instead, I got a little sleepy. Hee. Reached home and to my surprise, I found a big big cuddly dog and a bouquet of roses on my bed! AWW. BABY!! And he was outside my house waiting for me. Heehee. Thank you so much!! I loved it all!

Sunday
Met up for church with my dear boy! (: Then we met his dad and sis. They wished me happy birthday! Heehee! Okay, then my dad fetched me him and my sis home. Lazed there for a while then headed down to Katong to collect my cake. Headed to the airport realising that everyone was there already. Haha. So embarrassing okay!

The food was good. But we so ordered the wrong stuff. Baby and I both ordered pasta thinking that it's kind of like a main course. But to our dismay, it's just the pasta and thats all. And he's was a greenish weird tasting pasta. Shit. Sorry dear!! I tried all sorts of way to make it up to him. Heehee. Mine was all cheesy and rather bland. Haha. Then came the birthday cake! My mum got me a cheesecake! I love cheesecake! I was like sitting in the center alone! Dont like all the limelight! I'm shy! (:

Hee. So that's how my pre-birthday was like! On the actual day itself, BABY sent me to school!! That's like really sweet of him!! I, being the big fat idiot actually woke up late. How dumb! Sorry again honey. He must have wished me happy birthday a million times but I'm still loving it! Then we had to part halfway and I had to walk to school. He gave me such a heartwarming hug before he left. Thank you.. <3>first.

My baby boy's moving house. Yes dear, I am as sad as you are. No more common buses, no more "I can reach your house in 10 minutes", no more visiting of Rusty ever so often. But I have to cheer that sweetheart up. It'll be alright! We'll overcome the distance. I'll visit you! I really will! So dont be so melanchony when you leave okay? I'll always be here for you dear! MUACK.

PICTURES TOMORROW.
I'LL BE LIKE SO FREE.
THANKFULLY. BECAUSE SOME P.O.S SCHOOL TOOK EVERY SINGLE BLOODY FREE TIME AWAY FROM ME.

P.S : Anyone has access to their bank account?!?!?!?! PLEASE TELL ME!! (:

2006-07-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO..
ME!
ME!
ME!
(:

Thanks to all the sweeties who wished me today.
I'm really grateful that ya all remembered! HAHA.
I have so many people to thank!
I wanna name them all!
Thanks to JON (my love), his mum, dad, sisters, bestie dearest, sam, joanna, chu, SHIR!, nat, beefy, geraldine, jayne, chann, cindy, felchy, sam chung, carmen my fav partner!, sheryl, gwenda, joanne, aggy, candy, seniors, gerard, joseph, my sister, my mum and my dad and my many relatives (for the angbaos, haha!) and the MANY OTHER DEARIES WHO WISHED ME.

Just wanna say,
I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!
(:

And of course, a special, heartfelt thank you to my baby boy.
For adding colours to my every single day.
I love you!

2006-07-30T17:55:00.000+08:00

I WILL UPDATE AGAIN, ON TUESDAY?
I'M REALLY STRESSED UP!
SS mocks are on Tuesday and I dont understand the sec 4 syllabus, PLUS the many tri-fucking-million homework the teachers are piling on us. This is insanity!
I'm so sleepy. Back to studying now. Dont expect too many pictures, but it was a great pre-birthday celebration. All thanks to my dear boy. My lovely lovely boy who made it all special, memorable and SWEET. (:

THANK YOU HONEY.
I love you.

2006-07-28T18:36:00.000+08:00

After an entire week of hard work and sheer dedication (HAHA), I present to you,

'ETHEREALLY GOLD'

Mary Janes in Gold and laces and of course, sequins. It's rather plain, (I KNOW), BUT, I was lacking in resources and my inspiration was getting rather dry since everything I've tried on it doesnt look nice. My apologises for that. Heh. Comments, anyone? I need comments alright? Positive, negative, constructive, whatever. (:

I wanna make another design but this is seriously time consuming. Man, I nearly died. Hee. I'm too exhausted to update properly. But after my birthday, I'll head down to FAR EAST (First! Shopping!), then to Arab street and Chinatown. I wanna learn how to make jewellery. Pretty! Oh, these are a few REALLY PRETTY thingys I've got online. The bag chain is so hand-made and ONE of such in this world. Lovely huh? I wanna make my own stuff too! Oh the unique-ness! Haha!

The gold necklace!

The pretty little hand-made accessory!

TOMORROW! TOMORROW! BABY! FINALLY! I MISS YOU! (: No more one week standstill okay? I'm dying. Heehee. Oh my love, it's you I'm craving for! <3

2006-07-27T17:46:00.000+08:00

When there was me and you

I LOVE HER VOICE. I LOVE THIS SONG! (:

And because I am so stressed up, I shall learn to relax and to take things lightly. Which also means taking care of myself. Carmen darling and Noorain, both beside me, are sick. Meaning, I'd get sick too! I am really vulnerable. But then again, I'll really take lots of care! Sleeping early, drinking lots of water and so on. Haha. What a change.

I totally injured my back since Sunday night! And it isnt getting any better. Pft! No more crunches on the bed. Ahh, now I cant even bend down or sit down without my back aching. This is very bad. Will it be better if I go see a doctor? For my frequent headaches as well? Haha. Poor baby boy also has an aching back.

My little baby (not literally, but instead my project at hand), is almost done! Just need a bit of finishing touches and ta-da! Dont worry. Pics will be up and please do comment on them alright? I'm running out of inspiration!

Oh, Mr Tan was totally maddened by our Amaths Integration test results. More than half the class fail, and at least 10 got less that 6/21. Guess what I've got? ZERO. AGAIN. HAHAHA. Okay, I apologize for doing so badly, but I DONT UNDERSTAND AMATHS, dont you ever get it? I cant drop! Neither can I not score! But an absent grade on the O level Cert is much more appealing than F9 dont you think so? I have two paths to chose. Either I totally drop the subject, OR, I actually do something about my grades. The latter is definately what everyone wants me to chose. But, I JUST DONT GET AMATHS! Argh.

Oh well. I'm not stressing myself up. Nope! Gonna get inspiration for my shoe design and complete it tomorrow! (:

2006-07-26T17:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 7TH MONIVERSARY BABY!

I nearly forgot in the morning! But A HA! I didnt honey! Heehee. (: It's Shirleen's birthday as well, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!! (:

I received comments for my orals and my oral marks. I do suck! (Maybe my expectations are high?) Yeah, one comment especially said that I am not confident enough. The conversation part is one of my weakest area. I got to pray for a topic that I can really express myself on for O levels. As much as I try to appear confident, I fail most of the time. Why? People read me like a book. A bloody book.

*screams in frustration*

So now, I SUCK AT STUDYING. It's just not my forte! Then what is? Am I gonna spent my whole life searching for it? (Oh boy, I think so) In Singapore, the people must MUST have studying as their forte. That's how the society wants it to be.

But, from now on, I'll do my utmost best to talk, type, write, whatever in ~~perfect~~ proper english. SHEESH.

I'm so fucking tired. Damn school's fault. You know? We kind of have this evaluation checking thingy by the MOE staff, for what? To retain our Autonomous status. I dont see a point, no not one damn point! Our classrooms are TERRIBLY tiny! (As compared to those in other schools) The principal proclaimed that we are filthy rich. BUT they arent using the money very wisely arent they? Since Primary Six, both schools (SACP & SACSS) have been talking about upgrading. Upgrade my foot! I dont see a fucking change anywhere! Only perhaps the repainting of the walls, which I know isnt cheap, but what the hell! All those empty promises. You liars! I shant give a single bit of my money to you ANYMORE. Pft. And they are even organising what? A Dance-a-thon? Probably another charity event and making us sell coupons. FUCK YOU.

I hate them.
I hate them.
You bloody liars.
Every single one of you!

I'd love to see one of you actually taking action about what you promised.

HAHAHA. I have lots more to rant actually. I'm never gonna send my daughter there I tell you!

Oh, for PC lesson today, Mr Tan talked about stress. I tell you, I probably have almost everything ticked in this "I-am-stress" checklist. I'm serious! Cant get to sleep, very restless, cant concentrate in school.. blah blah. Hear this? Angela is feeling very stressed up! Haha. ALL BECAUSE OF WHAT BLOODY EXAM?

(:
I miss you so much baby boy!
Till Saturday, we'll meet!
Muack!

2006-07-25T19:00:00.000+08:00

I dont wanna blog today.
Everything's just so hard to say.
I cant be sixteen.
I'm not big enough to face the world.

In times of adversity,
people grow, people change, people learn.
Well I? I just never do.

I dont understand what's going on.
In this stupid fucked up heart of mine.
Oh why.

cheer up little girl,
the world wont stop for you.

I wish I said goodbye.
Even if it's the last.

I need a hug ever so badly right now..

2006-07-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna get myself screwed one day, some day. I'm so NOT focused! I have so many things I wanna do at hand. This is just overwhelming! And MY BIRTHDAY IS IN ONE WEEK'S TIME! Ah yes, to all the birthday babes this week. You're in for it! I'll be giving presents! (: Heehee.

This entry is rather rushed, because firstly, I havent studied for Physics properly. If you count reading, studying, then yeah. Oh man! I cant wait to get Physics Mock done, and to get my own made shoe ready for my birthday, and to purchase some stuff. I got a very beautiful necklace online. HAHA. I'm loving that!

School was such a bore. I've been having cramps for goodness knows what! It's like hurting internally and I dont know why. Pft. Thanks to that someone who has been chatting with me during Chemistry. Or else I'd have fallen asleep and drifted of to la-la land. Hee! I've gotten my first birthday wish! YAY. (: CME was free and during lunch time, everyone got rather high for a while. I started laughing hysterically. Pressure brings out the madness in you huh. Tutorial was torture. I sat with someone I totally didnt know and it makes it three times worst!

Remember I said that I have many things at hand? Well, I just cant wait to do them all! Pray that it'd turn out just as what I expected! Or I'll be VERY sad. Make it my birthday prayer or something. Haha. I'm being so nonsensical today!

WHEEEEEEY.

2006-07-23T08:02:00.000+08:00

IT IS 08 MORE DAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY! LOOK -->
Hahaha.
Okay, what's the big deal.
Sheesh Angela.
(:

I attended mass with that dear boy. He served at 6.45AM just to attend it 9.30 with me! AWW!! (: I got so so pissed with my sister for not sending me the song I really wanted. But he went up to her and requested it for me. Heehee. The homily was meaningful. Rather sad too? It's about Father's Bosco's vocation. Then I turned and asked Baby if he had any calling. If he does, he better tell me earlier so I can prepare myself mentally. HAHAHA. Okay, that was not a joke.

Then he had his hair cut and we went over to his house. His mum cooked up a feast again. Hee. Delicious! Rusty was being oh so very cute! (As usual!) I cant help but melt in his very presence. Then we headed for to Bras Basah. Took us some time to navigate our way around but we finally got to Art Friend. My damn stomach was suffering from indigestion then and boy does it hurt! I felt like puking, stomach churning and so eww. The art stuff there are wow. I wish I was artistic! I feel so fasinacted by the many arty stuff avaliable!

Since I was so on the verge of puking, baby boy got really worried, so we cabbed to Plaza Sing. Kinda wasted though. Sorry dear! Went to Spotlight and oh god, that place is SO COOL. Heehee. Got my materials after walking aisle after aisle. And my stomach's been such a pain in the ass. Grr. But baby's been really understanding and all. Cos his stomach's hurting too! Haha! Bought the OVER-expensive stuff and went to get a drink. And I so thought Coke would help. Sheesh. Oh, I saw this really nice stall selling covers (well, erm, what should i call them. plastics?) for handphones and boy were they pretty! I WANT ONE. And baby boy, please dont get a phone for me. Pretty please? I really really like mine! It's not about the functions. I love my phone!

Headed home in Express 518. Love that bus. And we went to buy the most important material, a shoe. Haha. Yes, stupid fact. Had a great time walking home and yeap. THANKS FOR TODAY SWEETIE. I love you!! (:

2006-07-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I am considering shifting to LJ.
But I cant bear to.
So many memories here..

I'm not gonna switch! (:

I'm bored beyond imagination. And I dont wanna do homework. Nor revise. Aye, this is bad bad bad.

Oh look at the pretty Birenstock!

I wish I had a credit card or an account of my own! I wanna do online shopping!! Haha.
[/edit]

I love me.
I dont want to live up to who you want me to be.
I'm still in the midst of searching of the true me.
Dont tell me who I ought to be, or what I ought to have.
I'd rather find out, or see it for myself.

LOVE ME FOR ME.
Aint that right.

I know I'm wilful.

2006-07-21T20:19:00.000+08:00

I feel a pang of confusion.
If I could take one step out of my world, what do I see?
I see how lost am I in my studies, I see how insensitive I am to someone else's misery.
So many things that I am oblivious about in my own little world.
It is only that world that protects me from life's cruel fate.
But what if that world broke?
And leaves me raw, and broken.

Stupid Angela! Dumb Angela! Foolish Angela!
Why are you even feeling this way?

Is it only in that folly of the moment?
Or was it for real?
Is it meant to be?
Or another of fate's well-planned jokes?

I'm sorry..

2006-07-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL'S OUT!
SCHOOL'S OUT!
Any idea how ecstatic I am now? (:

I am such a naughty girl! I havent been doing homework. Heehee. No wonder I feel so free nowadays. Like totally nothing to do when I get home. But actually I have homework! Perhaps I have selective memory loss eh?

I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN. NO MORE SCHOOL. NO MORE TEACHERS. NO MORE BLOODY HOMEWORK. GOODBYE.

I want to be in your arms. <3

Here are some pictures. Feast for the eyes. Haha!

My bathroom mirror. I like this! (:

Heehee. NICE.

I like mirrors! (Eastpoint)

On the way to Harbourfront! For baby dearest birthday dinner!

Yes, I look exceptionally ugly here. ): @ the Mount Faber - The Jewel Box!

2006-07-20T15:16:00.000+08:00

I was reading a magazine during English, sleeping during Amaths, wandering around during PE, playing around during Social Studies, and messaging half the time in school. I am definately not ready for O levels. Nor for the upcoming Prelims. Pft. I HATE SCHOOL. But then again, we kind of celebrated Racial Harmony today. (Sheesh, call THAT a celebration) Hello! Like we arent even allowed to wear costumes. I only wore it like once during Sec 1. (You stupid imbeciles) Call that embracing diversity. Oh, and they practically had to force us to stand to say the stupid declaration or whatever you call it. I hate that motorcycle head woman! I had enough of her and her stupid voice. "Oh, dont make me raise my voice early in the morning." *mimics her oh-so-flutterly voice* Can you imagine that? Oh Lord.

Oh, and ranting about people. There is this cock-headed prefect checking our class every morning. She too has this 'i'm-soo-cute-and-gentle' voice, (which I think NOT), and she has this very irksome kind of behaviour while checking us. Well, ask any 4-eighter and they would agree with me. I've got caught for my skirt, like twice when I dont think it's even short. I remember the thing Sam pulled on her. She pretended that she cant hear the prefect and kept going "HUH?" to annoy her. HAHA. And today, she complained to Mdm * (Another idiot as well), that Carmen was rude, and because of that, everyone was rude as well. To her? DUH. What the fuck. I shall be very nice and not reveal her name. But she'll not get away with this. I want to complain about her! Spoiling the reputation of prefects and fabricating stories to make her look good. And it's not like I cant do the same thing too. SHEESH.

BUT, she shall not spoil my mood. Tomorrow's friday! (:

[8.00PM]
Baby came over earlier! (: Made him some lovely desserts. I think it's YUMMY. Haha. Self-compliment huh. I had a great time with him!! I havent seen him in ages and after meeting him today, I felt so so happy! Boy, you're my addiction! Heehee! I'll upload the pictures once HE sent them over. So, wait ~~a few centuries~~. Kidding dear! Haha.

I just watched the Channel U show. Green forest or something? It was so touching! The guy was proposing to the girl and I nearly cried. Hee. It was awfully sweet and touching. Oh my. Okay, that was so random. But I'm a sucker at romantic shows. Big fat hopeless romantic.

I love you.

2006-07-19T16:57:00.000+08:00

And so, there she was falling asleep during Geography lessons when her dear boy woke her up saying that he's going to an oil refinery. I tell you this is unfair. I get stuck in a damn school, in the damn hall, doing the damn orals when he can go off to some island and look at some refinery. To think the school has alot of resources and they'd rather go waste it somewhere else. Okay, maybe not bring us out this year.. since it's the O's and all. But you didnt even bring us to one concert! NO NOT ONE. And there you are bringing the Sec 2s and all. It doesnt matter if I dont go to a refinery but all you've done is to bring us to NEWater. Argh. What is this!

Anyway, I had my orals today. The examiner asked if "learning was fun" or something. Okay, something along that line. And I KNEW I HAD SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT. But when it came, I blanked out on it, totally! I did say some points, dont know if it makes sense or not but oh well. I cant rant it out on her! Especially when she IS a teacher from this school. Learning is not fun! Teachers kill the joy in them all. Why? Because they pressurize us. (Well, I cant go saying all that, cant I?) But she also asked about what course I would chose in JC or University. And since polytechnic is not in the list, I cant say Hospitality and Tourism. But I accidentally blurted out Mass Comm. (Well.. I did consider about it though. Hee!) But it was then that I realised I didnt know anything about it! I seemed like a total fool! But I think she gave me a chance and asked me other questions. Oh please oh please I hope I'll do well.

I'm so in love you, baby!

2006-07-18T17:35:00.000+08:00

I want to revolt at the thought of school. So lets just skip this topic alright? School IS alright without the constant naggings and reminders of how close O level is. Oh shut up!

Haha. English mock exams rock, not. I actually misunderstood the first paragraph! Well, I never thought they might be birds. But I shant care. What's done, is done. I wrote till my right arm's aching. But I'll have to write like a few more essays tonight. Damn you homework.

Now, see how negative I am about school? School, fun? *takes a pen and frantically crosses out fun* English orals are tomorrow. I have a suggestion to the MOE. Cant they EVER give ME a topic that is worth debating? Dont give me a stupid topic about grandparents, snakes, or common everyday items. (Those ARE true topics in last year O levels) Give us some current up-to-date topics that we have a view on, and we can actually converse with you! Rather than, "Oh, my grandparents are old, and yes, they are old. They dont live with me. So I dont know anything else." Sheesh, dumb ~~blonds~~. But I really wish I can speak as well as I write! Not that I write well, but I wanna speak standard english and add those 'chim' words here and there. Haha. I hope it goes well tomorrow and I wont make a fool out of myself!

BOY oh BOY.
I miss you!!

Amazed

Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby, when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams.

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you.

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, everytime
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

Baby I'm amazed by you.

The song's for you, my love.

2006-07-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

Hmm, let's see, Monday. Oh, right, school! Argh. I have another reason to add on my 'I hate myself' list. Can you believe I was feeling so drowsy during my MT O level listening comprehension? When I've got the best seat in the whole entire room with the radio blasting away in my ear and I can sleep. What the hell. I totally missed out essential details of the passage 4. This is it. Plus, the so-called classical music they were playing right before the exam aggravated my headache. It reminded me of 'The-asshole-who-totally-maligned-me-and-caused-me-to-lose-my-status-as-a-president'. I'll never forget you. I'll watch you dig your grave and fall into it as well. (I am totally censoring all the bad words here) That despicable low-down cad! My glorious moment was when we argued till cat got his tongue. (The typical sort of men in his generation and I dont mean all! In HIS bloody generation! Egoistic and fucked up!) HAHAHA.

He, makes my blood boil and hatred stirred. Sheesh. Hee, I had a nightmare about Mrs Teo yesterday. Boy was she evil then. And we had 3 periods of her today. I was so afraid it'd come true. Haha, silly me. This week's eventful I must say. Mock exams tomorrow, orals on Wednesday and 3 tests on Friday. I'm all stressed up. (Happy SAC?) I cant get over the fact that the Great Singapore Sale ends this Sunday! And I am dying to go shopping again! I wanna try getting loads of stuff during this period and save money! But I am so broke. I need a loan badly. Anyone? (: I'll be rich after my birthday! Oh please? Hee.

I'm missing you so badly. <3

2006-07-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

BABY I'M SO SORRY.
I'm pms-ing badly now. And the only one affected is my boy. My poor poor baby boy. I get very easily annoyed and pissed off at everything. I'm sorry!! I dont mean anything I said okay? It's not your fault and you really shouldnt say sorry. I should... :( I know how much you've been giving in and forgiving me. You dont deserve all this shit. I'm sorry dear.

Went for mass with my boy again! Wheey. I was late, as usual. I'm sorry. Sigh. We ate at Yoshinoya again! Yummy. I love the food there! (: Then we went to Eastpoint to see the dogs at Pet Safari. You know? Pet Safari is reduced to this small area! Thank goodness the dogs are still there. Oh oh oh! I saw a border collie! My love! Heehee!! There was also this handsome dog being groomed. Whoa. There is also another sheepish (very very sheepish) looking black gigantic dog. Baby first thought it was a carpet. Haha. But it's so adorable!!

It was almost time to head off for Debbie's confirmation! We took the bus in the wrong direction! And so, we ended up in Changi Beach. Pft. We had no choice but to hail a cab. Sheesh, I hate taking cabs nowadays. The fares have shot up so bloody freaking high. The cab driver kept talking about his army experience with him. I could only listen. He said he regretted signing on for the wrong thingy. (I dont know whatever it is) So yeah. Honey, it's a sign! Dont you dare sign on any risk-taking, dangerous job regardless of the pay okay? (: He better not. And guess what, the fares cost $9.20. From Changi to other part of Changi. What the hell.

OLPS was crowded! And it's pretty small too. Haha. I bought a sunflower for bestie dear! I hope she likes it! Oh, I saw Ian too! He totally copied me and brought a sunflower there as well. Haha! Saw many many SACians. Left shortly after and headed for home.

Thank you for today baby.
I'm missing your cuddles, loads. <3

Tomorrow's Monotonous Monday. What the FUCK. *stamps feet in a rage* I hate Mondays! I hate school! I hate the teachers! I hate exams! I hate the system! I hate the homework! I hate the O levels! I hate them all!! I'm so sick on the routine when the momentum has only just begun. Oh great. Fuck you all. Tomorrow's Mt Listening comprehension. Wish me luck! :(

2006-07-15T10:20:00.000+08:00

[edit]
[8.30PM]
I am feeling so elated! I bought myself what I wanted! Hee. It's a surprise to my baby boy. Well, you'll just see then dear! He's gonna bring me somewhere (a surprise) on the sat before my birthday! I so cant wait! Haha. Okay, yes see? I am broke. Utterly, pathetically broke. But I am so happy! I'm gonna go back to Far East to shop after my birthday!! Oh, I am only left with shoes to buy to complete my collection. Heeheehee!
[/edit]

!#%*^$^$#$#@@&
I absolutely detest myself! I am SO TIRED, but my damn body doesnt want to sleep any longer! It's bad enough that I'm a light sleeper, which means I'll most likely wake up even if you are whispering to my sister who's beside me. Oh God. Today's such a fine day to sleep in but NOOO, I had to wake up at 7.30am. Wth.

Okay, I'm not in a grumpy mood. (: Found some really nice stuff worth getting so I'm heading out later! Alone. Boy's out so yeah. Haha! But then again I want to stay in.. cos I'm awfully lazy to get off my butt to bathe and all. Oh, and the money problem as well. I'll be reduced to the broke status later. Just watch me.

Zac Efron!!

I watched High School Musical for a third time today. Oh my! He still looks absolutely cute!! (: I mean the movie's totally meaningful. How you should pursue that part of you thats dying to come out.. *winks* Talking about that, I totally havent sent out the application form. Oh dear. The movie is enchanting! I wanna catch it again again again. Hee, Zac!

Would I be selfish to ask you to keep them?

2006-07-14T15:11:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Can I not face reality? Can I only deal with it when it comes? Can I just pretend I dont know anything? Can I just pretend that it would never happen? Can I believe that 'yours forevermore' is true? Can I not go through the torment of having my loved one leave me again? Can I be understood that nothing hurts me more than this? Can I be selfish? For once, when all my life I try to share. Can I mind because though I speak something else, you know what's really in my heart. Reality. You and I are very clear about it. Can I not waste my time searching when I'm clear I've know what I want? Can I hold on to your promises? Cant I believe in 'a true love never dies'?

Oh, just let me be.
[/edit]

TGIF! (: Oh Lord, my muscles are aching all over. Cooked myself some spaghetti. It's nice, or at least it tastes better than the previous one! Hee! I so wanna learn how to make Swensen's Teriyaki Chicken Pasta! That's heavenly! Oh, I've been pretty motivated and planned a study time-table. (Please let it work) It's revision for my mock exam. Sheesh. Today's physics. But nope, not gonna start on it until I had my fill of fun. (:

I am utterly dumb. I made such a huge blunder on my Emaths test today. I felt like slapping myself! That sheer mistake costed me like say, 5 marks or so? Oh my. SHOOT ME. School was boring. I am still apprenhensive on giving up Amaths. I dont understand a SINGLE thing. Nope, not an exaggeration but a fact. I just have to, but I cant! How can my O-level cert have a F9 in it? That's such an embarrasment!

Dear me, my hands are itching to shop, again! I badly want to get clothes for my birthday! A more formal one perhaps? (: I'll probably have to go myself. Sounds like such a loner, but no doubt things get done faster in this way. I'll have peace then. Haha. My head's starting to hurt. But if I sleep now, I'll get fat! ):

Do I really have to study...

2006-07-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

Day out with my boy! (: Alright, sorry I got in a real grumpy mood in the morning. I hope the flower and 'kissable' hershey chocolates made your day dear! Hee. I like my flower! It's made from tissue but, I like! I'm glad you had fun, because I really did! =]

We caught Pirates of the Caribbean. The ending totally sucked. What the hell. There is a 3rd sequel. (Is it called a sequel if it's third?) Well, the ending obviously said so. Haha. But Johnny Depp was funny! The effects were pretty cool as well. Comparable to my all time favourite Harry Potter. Heh!

School was pretty much the same. Though my birthday is nearing, so is our mock exams. I'm awfully lazy to study anything at all, but what can I do? Sigh. Social Studies, Physics and the (disgusting) Chemistry. So much to do, so little time! Grr. No one would have the mood to celebrate my birthday. That's so sad. ): I'm a greedy greedy girl. I wanna be pampered with hugs, birthday wishes, presents, and surprises! Heeheehee!

I'M NOT STUDYING. *pouts*

Because a true love never dies.

Melanchony.

2006-07-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I am more or less cheered up now. I get so affected easily. Le sigh. It's stupid I tell you. I had to wait 1 and a half hour till it's my turn. My heart almost popped out. All that was ringing in my ears was "thump thump thump". I'm thankful for my friends around me, or I wouldnt have calmed down. The male examiner was being very distracted I must say. He never spoke a single word and I kept looking at the kind-looking female examiner. Gosh, you should have seen me then. I know I cant show my nervousness, but it's so difficult! The way I read, the way I talked. It's so obvious.

Pft. Mdm Chua talked to me after the orals. Damn scary! I was so ranting everything about the orals to her. It was then I realised I can actually speak in proper chinese! And I thought I was becoming to English-speaking. It felt so comforting to actually talk to someone about this right after the awful experience. Even if it's to her. Haha.

OH. YOU KNOW WHAT. (Okay, I wont say what) But that thing SHE said got me so agitated! Yeah whatever, call me making a mountain out of a molehill, but I absolutely cannot stand this sort of (erm) things. I dont go around doing that to other people's boyfriends! Oh my god, I need to calm down.
[/edit]

Sad, depressed, awful, terrible, atrocious, stressed, under pressure, scared, afraid, frightened, alone, lone, melanchony.

Oh Lord. I totally screwed up my Chinese O level orals. What kind of stupid topic is that! "Suing your parents" They are really running out of ideas huh! No fair! Yesterday, they had an easier topic. Wth. I'm terribly pissed. They should have the same topics! Or else it really isnt fair!

I dont even want to talk about it now.

I'm feeling so sorrowful.

By the way, Mrs Loh did a great job in scaring the hell out of us with another of her "I am comparing results of you and blah and you SHOULD score this this this" ~~talks~~ lectures. I had enough. Shut up will you!

<3

There goes.

2006-07-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

I was getting rather high in Biology practical today. That bloody screamer didnt come. HAHA. After doing the experiment and gathering our results, I starting cutting up my specimens. Okay, to be specific, PLANT specimens. We had a bean sprout and a goodness knows what sort of plant and I started to chop them up into pieces. I found out that the bean sprout has only one hole! Like a hole in the middle! What a discovery! =D

Then since I was still on my high spree, I was so restless during Emaths. Partner was so hardworking while I kept rambling about how bored I am. I refused to get started on my work only till later after she left for her orals. Then my adrenaline died down and I was getting sleepy. And so, I slept for like almost half an hour. What a nice nap.

Assembly was especially long today. Stupid drugs talk. The caning pictures were awfully gruesome! Eew. Then Mr Poh HAD to drag. You fucking people! They call it reiterating. But I say, you're wasting my time! So I was late in meeting baby. I could tell he was getting a little mad. =x Since Chantel was meeting her boy so I thought of cabbing along with her. (: Convenient! We watched Re-cycle. It was DAMN SCARY. (Note : Whenever this idiot says its scary. It's actually not at all.) Dont remind me of it please. I nearly cried in the theatre! Glad to have that sweetheart by me. Thank you for today! It was much fun! <3

Oh Lord, please dont tell me tomorrow's Wednesday.
It can only mean, CHINESE ORALS.
SOS?

Okay, I got really bored. (:

What more can I say?

2006-07-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

I am not in a good mood right now. Word of caution here. Okay, the word for my mood right now is not bad, but rather, DEPRESSED. Maths mock was today. I knew I'm gonna blow it. Not that I'm being pessimistic or anything but, its true! It was so difficult! And also part of it being my mind blanking out and I was sooo sleepy. That terribly smart school just HAD TO arrange it on a ~~beautiful~~ Monday afternoon. You smart little things. Afternoons are for napping! I nearly cried out of frustration during the paper. I know the formulaes! It's just, it's just.. not coming out! :(

Alright, this entry can be summarised in two words :
I suck.

I'm stressed out. So many things running through my mind, so many issues to settle, so many subjects to study, so many homework to complete, so many! Argh! When I'm frustrated, I wont yell nor hurt myself, but I wanna cry! Or a hug will do.. :(

Boo.
I miss my boy! <3

Am I good enough?

2006-07-09T19:14:00.000+08:00

Brilliant. Today is Sunday, so that makes tomorrow, Monday. Oh darn. (:

Attended Mass with honey today. I really like it when he attends with me! But that means he cant serve, and that is bad. Oh man. Heehee. Then we went to Yoshinoya for lunch. I loveee the beef bowl! I'm starting to like miso soup too. Thanks for lunch dear. We also rented a vcd, agent cody banks 2 to watch over at his house! Rusty is SO CUTE. I love that dear dog!! His cuteness totally melts me. Oh man! (: So yeap, went off to play the elements map on Warcraft. I think it's fun. It's a game on strategising and all. Way cool. But he said I was slow! How mean! But wait, arent I already used to it? =]

Oh, the demoralising my self esteem is coming back up again. Correction, it never died down. I cant handle criticism yet. That explains that sort of nightmares doesnt it? I really dont want that sort of nightmares! It's the worst heartbreaking nightmare I could ever get. Every words literally pierce into my heart. Oh my. I always think I'm not good enough. Because in my everyday life, I always come to a realisation how stupid, how slow, how exceptionally dumb and useless I am. *screams*

I wanna know if I'm good enough..
I love you honey. <3

your majesty.

2006-07-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

Oh my. My computer nearly died on me! I had to reset almost all the settings. Damn. I almost had a heart attack realising that all my files are gone. But thank goodness they were still somewhere else.

The boy came over yesterday. Watched Date movie. From the writers of Scary Movie so you can kind of expect those hilarious scenes. Had a small tiff before we came over. Sorry honey, I didnt mean to. (: So the rest of the day we just stoned, walked around, use the com and all. Rather boring at home. But nonetheless, I had a great day! School totally ended at 12! Haha. Was ecstatic! No one was really listening in class. PC was fun. The poor me ended up being blindfold by partner dearest. She made me bang into so many people! Mean! Hee! Took a little recess then went back up to class. The weather was scorching!

And so, today. Tuition in the morning. Boring. Parents brought me out for lunch later. I nearly starved to death. Sorry baby for being so grumpy. I didnt mean to.. I was really hungry! Hee. I must say, I'm being rather hardworking! Finshed a couple of homework yesterday. Was studying the formulaes for Emaths earlier. Monday's the mock exam. I'm done for. Wish me luck!

I WANNA GO SLEEP. But I swear global warming's too outrageous! It's so damn fucking hot! Therefore, I cant sleep, cant stone, cant do my homework, cant revise because it's so warm in here! I should go chill in the refridgerator now. Argh.

Oh, BY THE WAY, I cant stand people using bloody singlish to talk to me on MSN. It's so damn irksome I tell you. I shant be rude to correct that person, but HELLO. What the fuck. "wahh, first time i see leh" or "how come liddat?". Close friends I dont mind but I dont know who the hell you are and DO stop the singlish please! =x

Misses and Loves. (:

dancing in the moonlight.

2006-07-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

Day out with the boy! (: Went to go get his phone fixed and my stationary and that book. Geez. I dont know why that biology woman's always asking us to spend so much money! What the hell. No wait, the school is. Filthy rich arent you losers? Oh, I'm so super duper awfully glad that school ends early tomorrow. I cant stand another minute of it.

I missed him so much. Did lots of lame stuff. I dont know why baby got sad. Or perhaps it's the little things I do that irks him. Sorry baby, I'll try not to again! On the other hand, he does too. But its alright. I need a morale booster. I need someone to boost my self esteem. I'm losing it fast. I wont believe in myself soon.

I MISS HIM. (: Thank you for all the little yummys you bought. Oh, there was also this awfully fucked up people behind us on the escalator. My god, baby wanted to kill them. Haha. I shant be so despicable. I was in a good mood and I shall be NICE.

TOMORROW'S FRIDAY.
YAY.
<3

"Love is selfish. It's how you'll make the other feel cherished." - GreenForest. (ch U)

Let me know. Me, who's on your mind. Me, who's in your heart. Me, whom you promised you'll love forevermore. Give me something to believe in. ~~Let me be selfish for once.~~ Let me know I'll be the only one. I love you.

barren.

2006-07-05T16:59:00.000+08:00

[edit #2]
Fairytales BELONG to the books, the televisions, the movie screens. It's all a fucking facade. You promised, I believed. Till someone lets me know that fairytales dont belong to only the non-fiction, then only I'll start to believe once more.

I'm giving up my childhood dreams.
[/edit #2]

[edit]
I want to let out all the emotions I'm feeling right now.
I cant scream, not at the expense of my voice.
I wont cry, to hurt the one that loves me.
Then what can I do.
[/edit]

Because I havent been having proper meals and on my strict diet in school, I'm eating like a glutton at home! This is bad, I know. I'm so god damn hungry! Maybe I should bring more food to school. Yeah Beefy! The saving money scheme is so not working out. Hahaha.

I feel that my standard of English is dropping terribly! One good example is my orals today. I found so many faults in my reading. Geez, it used to be good. My vocabulary is running dry and I'm scoring so badly! I thought if my chinese is faring so badly, my english would at least help to pull my marks up. But now, both subjects are Cs. What an embarrasment! The Emaths mock exam is coming this Monday! That's like really really fast! I havent even started studying! The school's moving at a terribly quick pace.

School's as usual. What can be more interesting than, school. HA. That totally irksome, irritating, nuisance place. It's making me moody! Nothing happy/cheerful/exciting is probably gonna happening for the next two months. Hurray for SAC. SHEESH.

I had a awful nightmare yesterday night. :( The same plot happened twice! Not identical but it runs along the same line. Oh my, it felt like my heart was being stabbed, over and over again. I cried! I didnt know I have such a low self esteem. But oh well.

I dont know what else to blog about. I'm running out of things to say! I feel like a total idiot! Food's clogging up my brain.

Till tomorrow, my love.

breathe.

2006-07-04T15:48:00.000+08:00

I just finished a heavenly meal of Chicken rice. Oh my god. Fruit salad for recess is such a bad idea! It got me starving so badly in class. There goes my curb-my-spendings scheme.

School today wasnt supposed to be that bad. I feel kinda weird. It's the first tuesday I'm spending alone. That's the only thing I look forward to at the end of the day after an exhausting routine in school. Poor baby had a bad stomachache in the morning. I wish I could go over..

~~Oh, dont even talk about attempting homework. Is it me or my headache that's making me feel so terrible? I'm so grumpy and tired. Perhaps I should go rest? Nah, homework first.~~ And the CHOCOLATES saved the day! (: She's grumpy no more. Heehee.

<3

Fly away.

2006-07-03T17:41:00.000+08:00

Youth day. Awesome day. Why? Bloody school holiday! That's the joy in it. NO THREE PERIODS OF CHEMISTRY. HA. But it'll be back to school tomorrow with all the normal routine and whatnot. So much for the joy of learning.

Went out shopping with him today. Okay, the guilt is starting to sink in. Although it's a voucher, I'm spending ~~a tad~~ way too much! In a failed attempt to console myself, these things are for my pre o-level stuff. Because I'll be shopping deprived! Yeah.. right. Like Angela would! Haha. The silly o' me alighted at Orchard when it's supposed to be Somerset. Walked to Heeren. Marche is gone! Oh my. Lots of teenages around Orchard Road. Hmms. The clothes from Queen's Couture is SO NICE. But so expensive! Say, 50 bucks for a shirt? Such a rip-off. I'd rather go to Bugis street for budget shopping. Hey, not bad an idea huh baby? Okay, anyway, I bought a Flesh Imp shirt and bowling bag! Yayness!! Thank you BABY! (: I tell you, stuff at New Urban's Male are SO EXPENSIVE! Sheesh. Bought a few studs too.

He was feeling a little down cos of stuff from his job and I couldnt do much about it. I am such a loser. Sigh. Seeing him like that makes me sad too! Dont mull over it dear. Please? I wish I could cheer him up somehow.

I MUST get a job after O's. That'll probably be the second thing I'm doing after dye-ing my hair. Yes! I musnt be like those people who keeps getting their boyfriends to get them stuff! Haha. Well, he can pay if he wants to. But, my essentials? I'll pay myself! Haha. Need to get poly essentials too! Clothes, bags, everything! (:

Oh well, back to reality. I just wrote a very self-praising testimonial for graduation night this morning and sent it off to Mr Tan. "Angela is a pleasant young lady who is caring, and is always sensitive to the needs of those around her... conscientious and diligent student... excellent attitude towards learning...displayed an encouraging desire to further her academic pursuits." Oh my god. Reading it now makes me wanna puke. HAHA. Go ahead, laugh!

The date, does ring a bell. What a coincidence.

the start of something new.

2006-07-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

AHH. The encore of High School Musical. Zac Efron is SO HOT! (: Okay, so is Vanessa's voice! It's so beautiful. Heehee. I cant believe that after watching it after a second time, I'm still so mesmerized by the songs and all.

Attended mass earlier today. Then I went off to baby's house. Today was his cousin's girlfriend, Jessy's bday. Heh. Had a lovely time there. Food was great, as usual! (: Then, everyone had a movie marathon. Tokyo Drift then Skyhigh. Tokyo drift was boring! Hello, even Skyhigh was so much better. The cars were lovely so was the drifting part, but overall, the storyline sucked! Yeah, so it was like three couples snuggling in the room. How sweet.

Oh, I'm gonna sign up for Ocean's butterflies audition to get into their classes. Not much hope held there. It's honestly for fun. Haha. The disadvantage is that it's in damn chinese. Just when I'm so into English songs nowadays. But yeap, for the fun of it. Baby's supporting me!

Not gonna go out with his friends tomorrow. Geez. Sometimes, the way how SAC brought me up, taught me to detest some sort of erm girls. Lians especially. Ask everyone. Thank God baby didnt wanna go. (Yes, Thank God) Puh-lease, you should know how Angela Maryann Lim's like! If they dare stare at me! Argh. I mean, it's irritating yanno! Put yourself in my shoes! Honoured's not the word here.

I miss him...

Something's very wrong. Why am I having a bad feeling about something? I really dont know why. Sigh. I need a hug so badly.

in this life.

2006-07-01T12:36:00.000+08:00

I was just listening to "Dont love you no more - Craig David", and this song brought back many many memories of 2005. It still awes me how God sent a miracle, an angel during those days of sorrow. The feeling's just unexplainable. It's like you've fallen into this deep deep hole and you cant seem to get yourself up. Someone came by and tried to save you but he couldnt. He kept you company, cheered you up and brought you so much joy despite the darkness and despair you were feeling. Then one day he thought of a way to get you out of the hole. He succeeded! And the story ends happily ever after.

HAHAHA. Okay, unexplainable is still the word. Those days were sweet and bitter in its own ways. I felt so many emotions I never felt in my life. He was there to help me, guide me, and love me. Thank you BABY.

HUGS!!

I'm gonna do you proud.

2006-06-30T18:03:00.000+08:00

If the only thing my boy wants, is to me to be happy, then by me not doing so, is going to let him down. So, I'll be happy baby, I really would.

On a happier tone, TGIF. (: I was just thinking about what classes I wanna take after the O's. I will not be going for the 3 month course in JC. No more bloody further mathematics. I wish I was in another country, like say, Australia? The music education there is SO MUCH BETTER. Yeah fine, Singapore is a KBE (Knowledge-based economy) so we cant afford to do that, but still! I love the arts, thats why I hate the rest. Haha. Angela's not an all-rounder! I wanna pursue the arts. There are courses in Poly about music, but its not what I want. I dont wanna compose the music. I wanna perform. There is an institute actually. But La Salle is far, far too expensive.

So, I'll probably sign on some courses after the O's. To complete my childhood dream. I can be a jack of all trades and master of none. Pretty cool somehow. I know the piano and the guitar! Dont laugh, but I wanna take up voice training. I think it's wow. Oh and I wanna learn dance! I gave up on ballet very long time ago and now I do blame myself for doing so. Okay, my defination of dance is NOT ballet. Haha. Yoga sounds cool too. Toning of my body. HAHAH.

I'm craving to catch some artistic concert! Not those pop stars kinda concert. Okay, both perhaps. The Secondary Twos are going for a piano concert. Sheesh. This is unfair. Oh, talking about unfair. Mr Tan Tze Siong IS VERY MEAN. You hear this? Picking on poor poor Angela during Amaths lessons is VERY MEAN. (HAHAHA) I'm dying to give it up, but I dont want to and I cant. I dont understand a single thing! HOW.

Smoochies for my baby boy.
I miss you.

Embrace diversity.

2006-06-30T15:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was such a tragedy. I'm so sorry. Perhaps, some things just shouldnt be said. Like they say, you know yourself best. I am, absolutely not perfect. I have my many many flaws. I am wilful, insensitive, too sensitive, immature, awfully slow. (I have loads more, trust me) I am only but a girl.

"I cannot be Mr December 26 forever."
That phrase kept ringing at my ears the whole time in school.

The many differences we share, the many disagreements about certain issues, our absolutely different personalities. That is why we're so attracted to each other. Opposites attract. We must learn to appreciate each other and our differences in a unique way.

I'm not just another girl you see along the street. I'm different! Everyone is different! I have my own special set of genes that make me different from anyone else you know. I want someone to love me for who I am. Someone who would embrace me despite our many differences. Someone who loves me for being different.

Who doesnt want to know that he/she's the best. That he/she is being treasured and appreciated. No one likes to be taken for granted. No one wants to know that he/she is incapable of doing this or that. You just wanna be loved and love.

LOVE.ME.FOR.ME.

I want a ~~music prodigy to play me a song~~ to hear a song being played just for me. Music heals my soul.

I'm sorry baby. I love you so so much.

Like a rose.

2006-06-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was baby's birthday.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR.

I'll love you always.

I'm up to my neck in everything else. Details are terribly out. Sigh. I love my blog. I dont wanna give it up.

I need a big hug.

(:

I'll walk away.

2006-06-28T20:35:00.000+08:00

I'M SO FRUSTRATED AND I DONT HAVE MOOD TO BLOG ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.

WILFUL. YEAH SO?

SO?!

SO???????

I'M LOSING IT.

Cherished.

2006-06-27T18:10:00.000+08:00

Oh boy, Tuesday.
Oh boy, I wanna scream.

Do you know? Hospitality and Tourism is 11 points? ELEVEN. Hello. This is insanity! What the fuck happened to the standards here? On a rocket spree perhaps. Oh my god. *bangs head on the wall*

Movie day with dear was great. Caught Garfield. Funny show. Loved the times spent with him. I'm treasuring every moment spent with him.. I dont know how much time we can actually spend together when its nearing O's. The principal did a great job in brainwashing me. Thinking about it makes me depress. But I'm trying not to, cos I know how far I can go on imagining things. It could get worst.

YANNO, YESTERDAY, THAT DEAR BOY DID A GREAT JOB IN PLANNING OUR MONIVERSARY!! Sly one. Hee! He talked about a surprise, but he made me forget about it then he told me to call him back at 8. Then I received flowers! At my doorstep! Fancy that! Hee. He got flowers delivered to me on our 6th month! Yayness! I was so thrilled and blushing at the same time. It was SO LOVELY. I was so touched I actually cried! There is a little girl hippo plushie that produces a kissing sound when it meets the other boy hippo, and one for each! (: Hee. Thank you baby. Thank you so much. <3

The card that went along with it.

The flowers!

There's not a star in heaven we cant reach.

2006-06-26T19:04:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 6TH MONTH TO MY BOY.

I've been missing out so many eventful things that happened. I feel like such a letdown to my blog. :( Baby, I said I'd try my best to stay happy today. I tried dear, I tried. I've been trying to convince myself that my mind is playing tricks. Sigh.

First day of school. Back to the mundane routine. I cheered up loads with baby's sms. That boy's love does wonders. Sometimes I feel that I wouldnt be living my life so meaningfully without him. And it's true. It started off with the principal's talk. Then Mr Tan. Bored, tired, exhausted. Oh, I've gained weight! This is depressing. O level MT orals are coming soon. They're gonna drill us yet again. Damn, when I thought chinese is so so over. Mrs Teo's lesson is so typical. I fell asleep and she called me. Accidentally. The 26th today and so is my index number! I absolutely love that number. Tutorial was depressing. The school really does know how to demoralise us. Like fuck, I know my band's Amaths is VERY POOR, (Mine's almost close to be ungraded) but there really isnt a need to let us switch to learning Emaths while everyone else is learning Amaths! We're pathetic! It's like letting a child know that he is stupid and he'd go on being stupid.

I promised baby. I'll smile. Even when the skies are so so grey.

It's been 6 great months baby. You're my life. You made me who I am today. I love you more each and every day. With many more months, years and decades to come, our love will stay strong. <3

I'll be gone tomorrow.

2006-06-24T15:54:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Why whenever I take a step forward, something would bring me two steps back?
FUCK, I'M SO TIRED OF TRYING.
=x
[/edit]

@!#@%$*&
What the fuck. School reopens in exactly two days time. I so look forward to the wonderful teacher's lovely welcome. Yes, you would know how brilliantly they'd plan this welcome. Heaps of homework and tests one after another. Perfecto.

I wish I was in the US. Summer holidays last for three months. Grr. AND, they dont even have O levels. My boy just realised the horror. Haha, that cutie. But school to him is like funland! He deserves my admiration for managing to think this way. (: (I am NOT sarcastic here!) School to me, is like going to hell everyday.

Everytime I set myself to do something, I fail to do it. I havent packed, I havent finish my homework, nor have I revised. Oh boy, this is brilliant.

This frustration is killing me.

I'll update about yesterday after baby send me the photos! (:

this is how it goes.

2006-06-24T13:05:00.000+08:00

3 names i go by:
angela
maryann
yiting

3 parts of my heritage
chinese
chinese
chinese

3 of my everyday essentials
handphone
doggie (:
wallet

3 things that i am wearing now
blue school tee
fbts
spectacles

3 of my fave musical artists now
nick lachey
teddy geiger
the click five (well, all that's in my playlist now)

3 things you want in a relationship other than love
how to treasure someone
faith
happiness

3 truths and 2 lies
i love sports
i am a girl
i ~~hate~~ myself
i love him
i did all my homework

3 physical things about the opposite that attracts you?
(damn, why physical)
eyes
hair
built

3 of your fave hobbies
nonsens-ing
blogging
lazing around

3 things that you want badly
now him here right beside me
my dream to come true
me to stop feeling sick

3 places you wanna go on vacation
rome
aussie
japan

3 things you want to try doing
getting a job
being married (HAHA)
being a dog owner (really!)

3 people i would like to see taking this test.
everyone who reads this! (:

Premonition.

2006-06-22T10:21:00.000+08:00

My mouse ran out of batteries yet again. It's like so annoying! The keyboard is efficient but awfully slow. But oh well. Yesterday was great fun! Went to baby's house early in the morning. Rusty was being uber cute!! Ah. I wanted to try the stew his mum made but we didnt realise it was burning when we went to run an errand. Oh my. Haha.

And so, his mum made another! So nice. (: Hee. It was yummy. Slacked around for a while more before bidding goodbye to him, and of course the cutie pie Rusty! Heehee. Thanks for lunch dear! So I headed down to Tampines to met Poh Yi, Paulyn and Wanting. Yes the trio, so I felt rather extraded, but its alright. Caught the movie, RV. It was hilarious!! Haha.. so yeap. I felt rather lonely during the show. Kind of like I'm missing something. Went straight home afterwards.

I so havent started on homework this week. Oh boy oh boy. Someone please tell me you havent finished homework too! I'm starting to get so worried! School reopens in 4 days! It's a disaster! Sigh. There's so much stress coming up I dont know if I can actually handle it. The O's yanno! =x And oh yes, one more day to his surprise! Hahaha! I hope it'd actually turn out LOVELY. Oh pretty pretty please let it. YAYNESS. (:

Going out later! Heehee.

Take the walk, for life.

2006-06-20T09:14:00.000+08:00

Weddings. The loveliest event ever. Dont you think so? The formal and official recognition that a couple is together, where their love unites, forever. Like aww. That day is one of my many dreams. I am a fervent believer of love. The many miracles and wonders of it. When I love, I'd give it my all.

Dont you realised that couples are getting married later and later in life? In this case, I'm refering to Singapore. Many singles reason that they cannot find the right one in life, or, I want to set up my career. You stupid individualistics. The reason being they cannot find the right one in life is somewhat acceptable. Career wise, I'm not against setting up one you know, just that some aim to be the CEO or a very high rank and to them, this is setting up their career. When the hell do you actually think you can achieve it? 40? or 50? Cant husbands set up their careers as well? CEO's can be the very owner of their companies and be a daddy as well. Who says you cant juggle? These are people who view marriage as a burden. No one says if you're married you cant go on and enjoy life. You're just selfish. Why cant you enjoy life, as a couple, guiding your spouse through ups and downs, partying or clubbing as a couple and returning home together. Who says it's impossible.

OR, you complain about the opposite sex. Example, Singaporean women are so materialistic and going only for the sugar ~~daddys~~ hubbys. And Singaporean men being so insensitve and tactless. (HAHA. Example people, EXAMPLE!) Each gender has their own faults but duh, we are absolutely not perfect so think twice before you critise others.

At the rate we're going, our future generations are going to suffer. The older you marry, the older your reproductive systems are. Things do not work better when they're older, right? That's how mutations occur! Your damn genes give life to babies with disorders and this ruins their life. And it's all your (parents) bloody fault. We (the kids) always lament about if only our parents were 'cool' and young. Like keeping up with the trend yanno. We wish. So why not give your kids a better life?

I'm gonna marry at a young age! When I say young I do not mean 18. But 27 and under. Marriage is never a burden. To be able to wake up to your loved ones face and know you're gonna spend every single day of your life with him, is such a blessing, yanno? I'm gonna give my kid a life that my parents never gave me. To communicate freely, to do things together with, and give them the love of a family I was never able to truly understand.

(:

State of fatigue.

2006-06-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

I was gonna blog a very eventful entry today if not for my fatigue state. Sigh. (I'm NOT sad, on the contrary, I'm contented! But sick, so yeah.)

My sunday
1. Attended mass with baby's sister. Haha. So qi guai!
2. Went to baby's house for Father's day lunch. Yum.
3. Got home. Had a splitting headache.
4. Received many MANY dozen over tops from my aunt (bought from US)
5. Changed into formal wear for the wedding at Clarke quay.
6. The restaurant was effing nice. Chinese but not so CHEENA.
7. The little souveneir was lovely. Gonna give one to baby.
8. Pretty bride handsome groom. What can I say? (:
9. Food was good.
10. Something made my stomach go terribly wrong.
11. I missed him.

There you go. I'm sorry. My stomach's been aching since yesterday night. I dont know what the fuck did I eat. I kept dreaming yesterday night hence sleep deprived now. I am so so tired. Geez. But I miss him so so so much. <3

Shopping day #1!

2006-06-17T20:06:00.000+08:00

Alas! The day of our shopping spree! Heehee! Actually, it's mine. And he gave me a very lovely hand-made ring! Aww, that was sweet. Thank you LOADS sweetheart! Express 518 was uber cramped up. Sheesh. Headed to Marina square! The shop we first went to was, erm Fox. There are probably a hundred over tops in there I swear. I like that place! So many choices! I tried over a dozen tops. I think Baby got quite sick of it. Hee. Spent a hundred bucks alone in there. Like whoa. Tops were at least 20 bucks each yanno.

Then we headed to Topshop. That shop is wow. I absolutely love the accessories! I love that $39 necklace. But like, er, $39? It's such a pity they dont have the size for the top I like. I'll try Parkway, asap! It's really so omfg nice. Heh! I wanted to get a top from Topman for him but he didnt want it today! =( Oh well. We went walking into so many shops. Oh, Ripcurl has a LOVELY bag. But its pink! Argh. Not that pink is ugly, but I dont fancy that colour for a bag, but we'll see. That bag is nice! Haha! Oh, there was also this kids search for a prince and princess. Haha, so cute. There was this kid who was so hilariously cute! Pretty princess with tiara. (:

It was Zara next. (Man, am I getting a little too materialistic? Or the tops in branded shops are getting prettier.) Somehow the clothes there didnt look as pretty as the last time I saw it. Or I was starting to get a little too hungry or tired. Nothing there so we went off to the Bugis lookalike section. We had a little tiff there but it was alright later. Sorry baby. Then we went for super early dinner at Kenny Rogers. Not a Secret Recipe day I guess. Haha. It was YUMMY. It's such a pity that they didnt have chesse macoroni then but baked rice will do fine.

As it was his altar servers feast day, he had to go to church. Couldnt miss it or he'd get screwed up. Sigh. Tough choice to make but yeah. Dont wanna risk it. Hee. I'm so missing him right now!

THANK YOU LOADS BABY..
I LOVE YOU!! <3

my heart's yours to keep.

2006-06-16T18:13:00.001+08:00

"Now You Know"

In these eyes
More than words
More than anything that
I've spoken

As the skies turned to gray
My heart's just about to crack open
So the story goes
There's something you should know
Before I walk away and I blow the ending

I never wanna be without you
Oh no, here I go
Now you know
What I feel about you
there's no running
I must have been wrong to doubt you
Oh no
There I go
No control
And I'm fallen
So now you know

Feel so light
Craving oxygen
All this truth's left me empty
Will you run
Can you handle it
Cause I need you to tell me
Maybe this is bold
But I'm hoping you'll stay for the happy ending

Those words, they hurt bad.
That tone, I'm no doubt sad.
What's said cannot be taken back,
the shattered pieces are a fact.

I've done all I can to be your perfect one.
Please treasure me, that's all I want.
I'll try to forget those words.
Those words that hurt so bad.

<3

Crazy.

2006-06-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

[edit #2]
I'm gonna catch High School Musical. Zac Efron is so hot! (:
[/edit #2]

[edit]
Well, I was just doing my biology homework and on a essay about smoking? I just wanna say, I CANT FUCKING STAND SMOKERS. Downright bastards. Cant you see the damage you've done? Emitting those horrible harmful poisonous gases which kill people everyday. You deserve to DIE. I'd send you all to hell.

I, Angela Maryann Lim Yi Ting would not allow nor tolerate any one around me, smoking. I stand firm on my principles. Especially my future husband. One criteria will of course be, a non-smoker. I will have NO EXCEPTION AT ALL. HAHA. Look at the harmful things it does to you! I dont understand why people still do it though. Stress? Go kiss my ass. You mother***kers.

I just remembered something. And it's getting me pretty sad. I wish you were here to tell me it's in the past, and you wont ever do it again. Oh, how I need a hug right now.
[/edit]

It's effing pissifying I tell you. I am like stuck at home for the whole week except for Wednesday. What the fuck. I am going crazy looking at these four walls the whole time. Seriously! Tv makes me sleepy. Food makes me fat. Homework gives me the shudders. Then what can I do? Thank GOD I'm not snacking excessively, or I'd gain a kg or two.

My homework is far far FAR from being completed. I'm doomed. I'm honestly afraid. I'm already like the last few in class? What's more, I'm totally not bucking up this holidays though I am supposed to.

Oh look. I'm gonna fall into depression again. Everyone's either busy or WAY busy. Like what's up man. ARGH. My holiday plans are ruined. What happen to cycling, swimming, sun tanning, shopping and whatnot? This is the third week of the holidays. Third. Oh my Lord.

Please forgive my grumpiness. You have NO idea how boring my house is. Gr.

Let there be love.

2006-06-15T09:01:00.000+08:00

Okay yesterday was wow. (: Baby came over and I made him a sweet little desert. I swear it looks very nice. Hahah. Tastes as good as it looks too! (HEH, I'm praising myself here.) Should have taken a pic of it though. The 'pudding' didnt turn out to be how it's supposed to be! It tasted absolutely like, custard! Slacked around watching cartoons for a while. He was crapping alot. Haha.

Afterwards, we went for lunch at Bedok Interchange with my sis. Caught Benchwarmers. Haha. So freaking funny. It's a good movie! Oh, and there're so so many movies I wanna catch! Hmms, we then met up with Ian and Joseph. Ian erm brought his friends along too. I got rather pissed with the smoke and all that I purposely choked/coughed rather loudly and Joseph turned back and look. HAHA. At the interchange, dearie realised he lost some money. So I offered to help and all, but he kind of flared up at me. But he was very sweet and all, apologizing in the bus later. Heh. We went over to Sumo House for dinner! Baby was mean! He told the embarrassing story to them all. Guys absolutely have very little or should I say, no empathy at all? (It's proven at the very beginning! In male babies!) They LAUGHED. At least Sam was nice, she said he was MEAN. Hee! But later he was nice and admited he was mean. Grudgingly? (: Perhaps. My sister kept laughing for no apparent reason! Her laughter was contagious so I laughed too. But I didnt know wtf was so funny. Haha, oh well.

Went next doors and played pool! Watched Baby and Joseph played for the first two rounds. Joseph won. Hahah. Then baby taught us how to play and went to play Dota with Ian later. I actually won Joseph for the first round! Wheey! But he gave me lots of chances and I was being exceptionally lucky so yeah. Then he won the second round. I kept missing! So irritating! I like pool!

Thank you baby for such a nice nice nice day today. Best day of the week so far I must say. It's been great. I love you! (:

My all.

2006-06-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

I dont want another pretty face,
I dont want just any one to hold.
I dont want my love go to waste,
I want you and your beautiful soul.

<3

Come clean.

2006-06-12T18:57:00.001+08:00

I'm going insane I tell you. Fancy watching the tv till 10 to 6? Yes, sitting in front of it like a stupid couch potato for 8 whole hours. Cartoons are love. (: But my eyes are exhausted! But I wanna catch my awesome band! Wooo.

So much for trying to complete my emaths paper by tomorrow. Sheesh. This is it. I need to get out of my house. Someone date me. AYE.

I'm sorry baby. <3

That little voice.

2006-06-11T16:05:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Oh, btw, I've changed my number. Please tell me if I forgot to inform you okay? (:
[/edit]

Saturday was much fun! (: Went over dearie's house. Played some sort of game in Warcraft for a while. Yes its starting to get a little interesting now. Will definately not be in the long run though. Rusty was being such a good boy I swear! He listens to me now.

Then we were playing, doing lots of silly actions and all. I accidentally hit him on the face and he hid behind his hands pretending to fake the pain. Obviously I knew it was a joke so I sat there laughing and apologizied profusely. But all of a sudden, he started shouting at me. I got a bad shock and though my mind's telling me he's playing a joke, my heart's telling me otherwise. That voice, that tone. =( Then I burst out crying. Haha. Yeah, I felt kind of silly. I couldnt stop the tears from flowing and he was very very guilty. MUAHAHA. I felt like a helpless little girl then.

So yeap. To prove he was very very guilty, he made dinner for me. AWW. (: Japanese green noodles and ready made chicken stew. YUMMY. I love the stew and noodles! Thank you sweetheart. Oh oh, I kept feeding Rusty too. Hee! After such a fabulous dinner, we sat down and caught White Chicks, the movie! It's so f-hilarious I tell you! Laughed till I got a stomachache. Definately a good VCD to rent if you're as slow as me and havent caught the movie. Hee. Then he send me home! Wheey.

Sunday. Yes. We went for mass! And headed down to the funfair. Loads of people queuing for churros. Yum. Many food were sold out! Boo. Met Ian Sam and all. Haha. Gonna go play POOOOL next week? Yayness. It better not be your Men's day out. HA. Okay, it happened again. Not because of that matter alone, it accumulated dear. Sigh. Perhaps the Father is right? A women's not a man's mystery, but misery.

Some things really ought not be taken for granted. Sometimes I can tolerate, sometimes I cant. I dont want anyone around me to learn the painful lesson, of learning how to treasure someone not only after he/she is gone. Why not start today?

Why is the insecurity creeping up on me?
Why is this feeling gaining back its momentum?
Little by little the feeling accumulates.
Forgive me, I cant fight the feeling for long.
I'm losing the battle once more.

<3

Reminiscence

2006-06-10T07:49:00.000+08:00

I doubted. I wondered. I questioned it. A scab that has been ripped apart from the healing wound. I thought I wouldnt have to get over this, again.

I dont know if God intented this as a test. A test on what? I want to know the perfect answer, but I''m not perfect enough to get the answer. Perhaps I'm failing miserably. It's not like it hasnt happened before.

Why am I always the one giving in? Cant it be them? I'm so sick and tired of having to struggle with myself for nights and give in to their needs and make them happy. Why cant it be the other way round? Cos I'm too softhearted? I cant quite take it anymore. I'm breaking down badly inside. Not a tear has been shed because I'm pushing myself to be stronger. But even the strongest break down sometimes.

I thought I'd be strong enough to get over it yesterday night. But the thought came running back this morning. It's only a mere small matter but it matters a lot to me. Why? I really dont know. I remembered what you said. Unfortunately, very clearly. It's like asking a guy to learn piano for me. If he says yes, I'd definately be exhilarated! But if he says no, then it's okay, with probably a tinge of disappointment. Then that guy would be sad. It comes naturally, right?

Sigh. I'm very into opposing people nowadays. The more you want me to do something, the more I wouldnt do it. The lesser you want me to do something, the more I want to do it. Sigh. Do I have to struggle with myself once more? Or would this be different?

The one question I asked God yesterday.
Is this his answer to me?
It lies in our very hands.

the heat from this beat

2006-06-09T08:41:00.000+08:00

Ah yes. I've finished Deception point. Great book. But very typical of Dan Brown. Firstly, his story always has a typical twist. Like, first, he goes around making you think that THIS guy is the evil one. But later on in the book, you realised that guy gets killed and someone else is the mastermind. It's not that I hate this kind of plot but twice? And, his story always ends with the main character falling in LOVE with the other character who assisted him/her in the investigation. But I still love his books!! Deception Point is based more on scientific facts. To the extent that it almost became boring. While Da Vinci, yeah you know, history based and also involving the history of the Church to a great extent. And, my personal favourite, Angels and Demons, is more of the artifacts but its very exciting! It totally brought me into Rome, into the whole book where Langdon and his female partner goes on a chase for the killer. It had me so into the book and when I finally finished it, it left me exhausted. Haha.

I'm off to bury myself in my homework. I hate it but I have no other choice. I've done halves of half of the homework pile. Get the point? Haha. I have not face up to my tutor with my horrendous Amaths grades. Seriously, one fifth of the total score? I better have the ambulance on standby.

5.00PM//
Something's wrong with me. I felt so breathless during tuition. Kind of like how you're drowning and desperately gaping for air. It was awful. Then I was falling asleep. Haha, oh well.

I cant wait till our shopping spree! It'll be a great day out with baby. Time to get a new wardrobe. Are Zara's items more expensive than Forever 21 or Topshop? I really am not so materialistic! But, but, the designs are all so pretty. I dont mind if they cut away the brand or something yanno. But yeah, as what he said, its the designs that make the brand famous for it. I need a sugar daddy!

I've no mood for anything but cycling! Haha. Sounds pretty weird. Aye, I'm just very bored stuck at home. I'll be the worst tai-tai ever. Or maybe it doesnt sound so bad.. *wink* Considering how I can go shopping everyday. Wow, that's absolute love. (:

<3 <3 <3

Damn.

2006-06-08T09:43:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Argh. I just went out something with THEM. Uber pissifying I tell you. Never try that again. A tee that goes for 19.90 is NOT expensive. There she went refusing to buy it for me and la da la da. My stomach does not need to be spoiled, seriously. I can go without it. But there she went throwing her tantrum in the middle of Marina Square. Two can play at this game.

And so, I came home empty handed from Marina Square. Can you actually believe it? Zara did have many pretty things but there are so f-expensive! It's daylight robbery! Hah. They are expensive for a reason. (: They're so pretty!

Oh well. I'll probably devote tomorrow to my books. Honestly, I hate chemistry! Every question requires so much thinking and all. The whole TYS is impossible I tell you. I shall turn my attention to something else.

Anyhoo, I missed him loads today. Loads.
[/edit]

Bitch. All I can hear is her ranting at me. Does listening to music actually consumes more energy? (Even with the computer turned on) She claims it does. Where in the world did she get that fucking downright dumb theory from? The computer itself consumes energy, yes, but listening to music does not take up more!

DAMNIT. Like fucking shut up bitch. I'm not going shopping. No. Not with you that is. I dont care if you're my ATM machine. I dont care if you supply me with endless amount of money. You spoiled my mood and that's that.

Dont push it.

2006-06-07T14:13:00.000+08:00

I'm utterly depressed. I am now broke! Completely broke! I've been trying to curb my spendings yes. But things are just so expensive. I hope my mum decides to be all so nice and sponsor my book and whatnot. It costs as much as 60 bucks thank you. I need it back. =x

Baby was being such a sweetheart yesterday night. THANK YOU. I'm so so touched by all he has done for me! Hee. Because of the Omen, I couldnt sleep yesterday. The images kept appearing in my mind! The boy's menacing stare. Geez. Baby accompained me till very very late till I finally got sleepy. And because once I put down the phone, I'd get scared, he offered to not hang up and wait till I sleep while on the phone. So sweet! And so, I fell asleep till about 9 plus and he had to get up early for school. I'm sorry dear! (:

So now I'm half sad and so smiling in my heart!
<3

2006-06-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

The tutorials finally ended today. Phew. I can now take a breather and sleep in! It's already halfway through the second week. I've got some homework done but I dont think it's barely much. Sigh. Looking at the pile just gives me the creeps! I really should do more each day huh? My aim this holidays is to finish everything. It's rather ambitious, no? I've never done it before. But its worth a try. =x

I really should stop dreaming about going shopping. But I cant help it! The craving is increasing. Oh man. I havent touched the scariest homework of them all. The whole entire Chemistry TYS. Damn. I never really did it seriously last year yanno? No wait, I didnt do a thing. And I passed. This year, when I actually sat down and revising all the chapters, I fail miserably. So tell me, what good has studying done?

I cant help the feeling that has creeped back. The growing insecurity, the helpless struggles. I'm trying my best to keep it in. I'm trying baby. <3

2006-06-04T08:53:00.000+08:00

WOOOOOOOOT. (:

The day started off a little shaky. =x Sorry babyy. I should perhaps learn to be like the submissive wives? (: Perhaps. We were all l-a-t-e. Except Joseph that is. Oops. Then everyone started coming, like 15 mins after the indicated time. We were so going to be late. Trained to MRT, and hurried to catch the train to harbour front. Baby so got into the train, alone! HAHA. Ian told us of a very cool discovery! We can look at the tunnel through the train, at the back. The picture he took of it, was whoa. After getting off at harbour front, we rushed to meet his cousin who was waiting for us for a very long time.

Finally got to Siloso Beach. The sun, the sand and the sea. Lovely. Met up with his cousin's girlfriend and we got many goodie bags. Freebies and whatnot. We hung around for a while. The food was alright, but I stuck to only otah. I like! Okay, so they were agruing about the grouping and all. At first, the team comprised of Ian, Steph and Sam. But Ian backed out and we were like all begging him to go. Okay, then Joseph had to go. But just before the games, we realised that the group is allowed to have 3 girls, then they were begging me to go. So I thought I shall be nice and go. (: Haha! Baby was wishing me luck and all! *smiles*

We were grouped with one 'hunk'. Why the inverteds? I swear, I swear that looks are so superficial. Cute, hot, whatever, so? I didnt say being confident is a bad thing. But confident and with a tinge of cockiness is such a turn-off. Like seriously. Applies to all 'babes' and 'hunks'. I mean, if you're god-bless with such unique looks, fucking dont act so cocky and whoa, we must all bow down and worship you? Kiss my ass. Haha. Baby was being so funny! While we were waiting for our game to commence, the guys came over and baby was like "Where's the hunk?" And I pointed out where he was. And he was like "Where?! I dont see a hunk!!" HAHA. Yeah, my baby's the hottest of them all! (:

Our first game is rock climbing and that 'hunk' had to climb it. Then Steph Sam and I would just run, get our picture taken and run back. Just a simple task and I was already feeling so tired. =x Then came the volleyball. The sun was blazing then. When the game was nearing the end, I felt so sick inside. I hurriedly went to where the guys were. By then I was feeling waves of nausea coming over me. Baby carried me to the sick bay! *blushes* I could still hear the MCs saying that a girl got heatstroke! Damn! So embarrassing! Okay, haha, the whole process is so embarrassing. The guys, including baby was teasing me afterwards about how I got a free spa and massage. Hee! But it was really scary! I thought I was really gonna faint.

In the end, our team didnt win anything. I felt so bad ditching them halfway. So we went to chill at the benches while Sam and Steph did their manicures. I saw Randall Tan (one of the MCs) while walking with Steph and he so recognised me as the girl who was unwell. He asked if I was okay. Hee. So embarrassing. After that, Sam and Steph had to leave. I'd seriously pay Ian Lee to stop smoking yanno. We went over to Palawan beach! It was the balloon hat festival! I wanted to catch a glimpse of my sister! But first, we walked over to the most southern point of the asia continent! We went over to one area and the sand feels like faeces. I swear! Haha. But it was soft and all. Baby and Ian wanted to swim so yeah. Oh gosh. I went into the sea filled with pee and poo. Heh! Then we went back to Palawan beach and while baby and Ian bathed, Joseph and I went to get our dinner. I saw Noorain, Beefy and my sister on the way back to the little island! We sat at the little woody tall tower? I dont know what they call it. Ate our little dinner while watching the sun set.

After dinner, we sat there, chilled, listened to music and chatted. Baby was being so sweeeet. Moments of bliss I would call them. Thank you dear. We left at like 8.45 or close to 9. The whole area was so dark! And my nail broke. =x Not that it matters so much, but it was cutting through the finger and boy does it hurt. I cant get over my nail throughout the journey home. Haha. We walked through the fountain area and to the ferry terminal. Lovely place eh? From there, the guys decided to walk all the way back to Harbour Front MRT. WALK?! =/ But it was fun! We stopped at one shelter and decided to take a breather. Oh, the only word in Ian's dictionary is "coup". Which actually means steal. HAHA. So he 'couped' (well not really) one abandoned bag at the shelter. It contained some children clothes, and he hung everything outside the shelter. Haha. Baby then took the bubble and started blowing it. Before we left we overspill everything in it. So hilarious!

I was feeling very exhausted on the trip back home but nonetheless, I felt so happy inside! My heart was practically smiling smiling. Heehee. My baby's lovely. My legs were aching badly and my throat's sore. Yes, the chips worked alright.

I felt like a truly blessed girl. <3

Our destination!

Baby and I.

The Yo's.

MEEEE. Haha.

The picture of the tunnel that Ian took.

A candid picture I took of him! (:

He took this!

Mean fella.

Me! Again!

Tongues out please.

Say cheese.

His work of art.

Sweetie.

Us during the games.

BABY AND I! (:

That cutie pie! AWW.

Baby and Joseph!

They plonked a cap on me and said it looked cool.

Patrick at Sentosa!!

Ahh! My hand!!

Us and Spongebob!

Candid? Heh!

Okay, he's gonna kill me for taking this pic.

Haha, Joseph!

One word. Blissful! <3

2006-06-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Alright that sweetie pie came and accompanied me. Had a lovely little walk around the condo. I saw, a pug, a sheep-looking small dog and a chi wa wa. Haha. I dont know how to spell it, but you'll get the idea! Oh, and we discovered something effing lame on his phone. Haha!

So yeah, he had to go to his class BBQ.

I HATE THE FUCKING MOOD SWINGS. STOP IT. I'm dying under my very hands. How does it feel like to be happy?

Could I have said no?
[/edit]

According to Mrs M. Teo. It's the end of the week. We ought to reward ourselves! With retail therapy, music therapy and 'bed' therapy?! Haha. I swear it sounded so wrong. And so, I decided to reward myself for working especially hard during the holidays. (I did, okay!) I splurged, once more. Retail therapy ~~doesn't~~ works.

I went along to Parkway, myself, to get a few essentials! I finally got deception point! Yayness. Okay, actually I was in a very bad mood and all. But cheered up loads thinking about tomorrow. It'll be a YO'S outing! (: (: (:

Anyway, I was sitting at the bus stop, waiting for 15 to come along. I heard a son asked his father. "Why do you read newspapers everyday?" The father replied, "Because I will be able to know whats happening around the world." He then flips to the next page with saucy and scantily dressed woman all over, and quickly turn the page over. Haha. That's so random.

Okay, either I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or I'm mood-swinging, badly. Dont push it. I paused for a while cos he called and we chatted for a while. And my stomach's been aching like fuck. Hence, my state now.

I'm not deluding myself.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I selfish one expecting too much?
Or have you been different?
It's that time for some reflection once more.

2006-06-01T18:20:00.000+08:00

I had those dreams again. Twice. Not as scary as a few others way back but unpleasant all the same. No one likes these sort of dreams anyway. Sigh. I wish I have him by my side when I wake up. At least that unhappy feeling would go away. I miss my baby so much..

Here I am, sick, again. Bah. My muscles feel so immobile after my little nap. And I'm blogging so monotonously! Or rather, my life is. In my list of important agendas, school work takes up 3/4 of the space avaliable.

I NEED TO GET A FUCKING LIFE.

But the thinking I did for the past few days made me realised I'm one lucky girl. And I thank God everyday, for you, my love. <3

2006-05-31T18:14:00.001+08:00

I like today! Its nice. (: Thank you so much baby!

I'm sweaty and all. Just had that lovely walk home again. But with the sun today. I'm melting under its very rays. Global warming is dangerously increasing. It's hot at 5 plus nearing in the evening? And oh, the Earth's oil supply will be gone in 25 years time. And the school uses a tremendous stack of papers. You're cutting down MANY innocent trees.

oh, look what you've done!
*croones to Jet's song*

Haha. I'm missing him. I do hope he knows I love him, very much! <3

I wanna hold you in my arms
and never let you go. (:

2006-05-30T16:55:00.000+08:00

X-men 3 was amazing. <3

I havent found a solution yet, so till then,
SIGH.

I have no motivation for anything.
Not even shopping.

Sometimes I dont like to ask for anything.
I'd rather it come, willingly.
I'd always be here,
but tell me when you need me.
So are you, but with so many baggage?

I'm alright with it..
You cant read minds, and neither can I.
I dont know some things.

I am not going to let life bring me around.
Nor bring me down.
I'm not gonna resign to fate, anymore.

I love you sweetheart.
-----------------------------
DAMN. I hate her! Tests?! Note takings?! Not a school holiday?! I'M SO TIRED. Will you all give me a break. I know you need to finish the syllabus, but oh my gosh. I dont get, a thing. Nope, not a thing at all.

All I can do now is sit here and stone. Where's the motivation that once was there?

2006-05-29T21:04:00.000+08:00

I am only but a girl.

Dont do things to others that you dont want them to do unto you.

That feeling's starting up all over again.
I need to know
how much I really mean to you.
Talk the walk, walk the walk.
<3

:(

2006-05-29T14:24:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Alright. I SO want to give up on my geo corrections. It's driving me insane. Especially when I dont know how to do the question. It irks me and sheesh, I'll be distracted by something else. I need a geography guru, seriously.

As I read through the paper. I realise that for the first essay, I've got 10/12 and for the second, I've got 7/8. Dont even talk about the third. The oh so dumb me did the WRONG question. I'm still terribly mad with myself over that. And so, my point is, I could have done better! But what's the point grumbling about it now. Oh well. Back to my geo corrections. =/
[/edit]

(Warning : This entry is not for the faint-hearted. I am grumpy.)

*screams*

I HATE
I HATE
I HATE
I HATE
I HATE

GR.

I thought I could resign to fate.
But nooooooooooooooooooooo,

GO AWAY.

Okay. Thats that. I'll still fucking live my life. I want Nokia 6670! But I've just changed my phone, so thats really impossible. Sigh. Patience, IS a virtue. But even if I wait, that phone still wouldnt be mine. I sound like a materialistic chick. It just so happens that the things that catch my eye happens to be expensive. *bigger sigh*

What the HELL am I doing at home after Chinese O's? No one wanna go shopping with me. I wanna go bugis street, far east, marina square!! How come it sounds so ah lian-ish? But dont worry. I'm absolutely anti ah lian.

I wanna get THAT puma bag, a shorts, skirts, at least a decent pair of jeans, loads of tops, that top shop skirt, slippers from charles and keith, shoes from marina, tons and tons of earrings and necklaces, tops from Forever21! HAHAHA. That's the most important agenda for my june holidays.

I wont say that getting that all will make me a happy little girl. Because it really wont. All these are just material needs. I'll need more than just that. What my heart craves for, is just that simple..

<3

2006-05-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

It nearly felt like a tragic soap opera. I nearly died. =x But after the storm cleared came the sun! (: And so, we met up, and baby was waiting for me with the lovely lovely roses! AWW!! It was so sweet! My heart melted on the spot! Hees. We took 196 to East coast. Well, we missed the stop and took a cab instead. Too bad the sun set in the meantime. Or else it'd be so lovely!

Night was already starting to fall upon reaching east coast. The hawker center seemed so far away, so we decided to settle for Kenny Rogers. Alright, I made a really really dumb mistake. Well you see, We went to one of the entrance and it said, please use the other door. So, I assumed that the other door, might be at the other side! It turned out that the door was just like a few steps away from that door. Wth. Haha. It's my first time in Kenny Rogers then. It was yummy! But I ordered too many potatoes. Haha. (:

We then took a little walk to the stony area. It was such a starry sky! Reminds me of the one in Perth when I was five. Though it was like ten years ago, that image is still etched in my mind. It's so so captivating. Although East coast had lesser stars than Perth, it was already considered quite a lot in Singapore. Hee. And after choosing a nice spot, we laid down looking up to the sky. *smiles* It's so romantic.. Then we took a walk near the edge of the sea. The sand felt so cooling. The waves are nice! Haha.

After washing our feet and replenishing our stomach, we set off home! It was so dark and scary! Okay fine, maybe only to me. My night vision is rather poor and that made me seem like a blind rat. I'm thankful I had him guiding me through the dark. (: There's a walk to the underpass that seems rather haunted, and so is the underpass. *shivers* Reached home at like 10.30? Hee. Thank goodness my parents didnt say anything. My mum sounded nicer when she heard I'm out with him! Haha, baby arent you glad?

One word to describe it all. Blissful. <3

2006-05-26T09:52:00.001+08:00

Happy

5th

month

baby!

And so, it does end happily ever after.

I shall update about today, tomorrow! <3

Oh goody. Mr Tan read blogs. Now now, havent you got anything else better to do? All the better isnt it? At least you know how we view the pathetic school system. Dont do anything mean now, you wouldnt like us blogging about it dont you? HAHA. Happy reading. At least I can blog in comprehensive english. (:

2006-05-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

I shall leave out the minor details for now. Lets see. Yesterday, I went over to baby's house. Somehow a thought flashed by me. =/ I dont know why that bit of distance could actually mean so much. Or is it something else? I dont know. At the hospital, before his mum was transferred to the ward, we sat and did some reflection. I know we're both upset, but we are very certain that the love hasnt changed. Events around us changed. We just had to adapt? And so, we did much talking and many confessions.

I know I'm very weak, very dependent. I'm trying to change. The first step is not to cry. Unless very extreme circumstances. Like how sad I was deep inside, I kept it all inside until something that's said sparked off the tears. But the storm vanished as soon as it came. (: And that made me a much happier person in days. The car ride home was the happiest moment in days. I swear. I never felt so contented, so blissful.

But I wish every outing we have can make me feel like this..

Baby met up with me today. He accompanied me to go get my hair cut! Thank you dearest. Then we met up again in the evening for SM! It was so damn funny! Loved it. He cooked me a meal. Thank you again! (: We then headed off to church with his sister. We kept playing with our hands and fingers during mass. Haha. I'm so tired. And so is he. Sigh. When can that dear boy ever rest?

I'm a sort of person that WILL feel bad implicating people, causing them more trouble and whatnot. Even if that other person dont mind me doing it. All I want him is to be happy. And he says that he is, if I am. But Angela cant be selfish. Angela must be giving and compromising and self-sacrificing. Even if it's to the expense of me mulling at home and he is happy, I would still not mind. As long as he is happy.

Dont ask me if I mind if you went along.
Because you'd know what my answer is already.
Even if it means self-sacrificing.
(:

Thats how much I love you baby. <3

2006-05-23T18:02:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I feel better. But it still aches my heart to see him sick and instead of resting at home, he's out rushing here and there. I know its nothing much to him. But still? (: I'd rather be sick. Really. <3
[/edit]

I am only human.
I am only but a girl.

"Someone's watching over me"

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

2006-05-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

[edit]

I'M BLUE

[/edit]

Ah! Baby has a new phone! That slide up 3G phone? Like how cool is that? *looks on in envy* =( I'm attempting to comfort myself. Yes. I love my L'amor. The simplicity in its sophistication. And I already have an MP3 and a digital camera.

*runs away wailing*

Dont ask me why am I so upset about it. I have no idea. Maybe I've been longing so much for a phone with many functions but only L'amor suited to their budget. Sigh. Dream on Angela. Even his older phone has more functions than mine!

*wails louder*

I have three things to get off my heart today. Da Vinci. Yes. I dont understand why did the church create such a big fuss about it? The big fuss about it actually initiated me to read that book. (See what you've done?) I know I'm a catholic and am not supposed to 'go against' them but this is ridiculous! It's just a book, damn it. No one said it was non-fiction! No one asked those dumb blonds to believe what's actually written in the book! I know some of the things in the book are about the catholic church, but they are obviously ridiculously false. Everyone loves a good book! And now, because the catholic church is so against it, Archbishop Nicholas Chia wrote in to the government to ban the film. What. But the government merely gave it a NC16. Sheesh. I obviously dont believe in anything said in the book, so whats up with not letting us watch? My faith is still as strong as ever. Yesterday's sermon was infuriating. Grr.

Also, as I was watching the Singapore Idol yesterday. I realise, there are alot of people who DONT KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE PROPER ENGLISH. "Nong Nong ago?!" That's like elementary pronunication, hello. Why arent Singaporeans able to speak proper english? I'm not even saying perfect english. Because youngsters nowadays dont give a damn to their language. "i dUuNcHh uNdERsTaNd wHiEe mUsS eEuU TyPe LiKe tHiIs WoRxX" Firstly, it's such a waste of your time. And secondly, its uncomprehenable. What the fuck. Now I know why Singapore has to start campaigns like "Speak good English". SHEESH.

Oh, and the last rant of the day. Cheryl and I chatted on guitar ensemble. Our beloved CCA, NOT?! I'm so so so so so glad that I have people on my side! Hey, at least I'm not wronged alright! You fucktard. You bastard. You despicable lowdown creep. You fucked up biased rat. I hate guys like you. Absolutely toot with no sense of his age and biased! If you are young, fucking act like you are! Everyone can see through your masterplan now! You prefer students with pure talent. And so, you'd give them high positions and even make up positions for them! Too bad I held the highest one. But still, you were not satisfied. Even I had the position 'President' in name, you took away all my powers. You didnt listen to my suggestions, you took all my tasks away and then, you expected me to do something. Bastard. I wanted to fufil my duties, but NOO. I was like a thorn in your flesh. Not only did you accuse me of something I didnt do. (But I managed to rebuke back, and you were speechless. My victory!) You made up stories to tell that bitch. And that resulted in that bitch giving me all sorts of talks. YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF MY MISERY. I'll be back next year. Watch me. I'll sit in the auditorium, witnessing your very downfall. I'll make you pay back whatever you did to me. You're gonna get it bad.

HAHA! I feel like I'm flying! Loads off my heart! (:

Baby, all the best alright? I have absolute faith in you. I dont like your new phone. (: I want tomorrow to come quick. I dont think I can quite take the wait. Hurry alright love? <3

2006-05-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

(: Thanks babes! Thank you to everyone who made it all better! Love ya all!

Yeah, perhaps I'm a book. I cannot ever hide my feelings. Oh well. Haha. Even Samantha could tell I was missing him a lot during mass. Everything there reminded me so much of him. *smiles* Everything.

After mass I went to Joseph's house. HAHA. GTA!! I chainsawed, blasted, sprayed paint at, run down and shot MANY MANY PEOPLE! The game ended up having many modifications. Hee. I kept using the cheats for agressive traffic and everyone carried a weapon. Lol. The streets were chaotic! I went into the shops and after getting what I want, I killed everybody in it and set the whole place on fire! WHOA. This is seriously very good stress management. Thanks for having me over! (:

My mum is acting very strangely. So is my aunt. When she first saw me, it's like where's johnathan? Haha. Fine, ask about him and not me. The questions my mum asked me when I first got home was also why didnt I go out with him today. I gave a rather brief answer cos I didnt wanna mention working. Then she went on asking busy with what? Haha. *raises an eyebrow*

Sigh. Baby'll be out till very late. I hope he can achieve what he wanna get. I'd be praying for him! Good luck! *crosses fingers* I MISS HIM...

2006-05-21T08:29:00.000+08:00

Late last night, I struggled with my other self. Desperate for a reason why I felt like that. Why am I similar to a morning glory? A flower brimming with the sun's radiance, yet unable to support itself. I always try to act strong. In the end, everyone still managed to see through my acting. But I dont want to depend on anything! Why did I grow up only to be a morning glory? Cant I stand on my own two feet?

The blood still is fresh.

Until I win the battle with my other self, I wouldnt achieve inner peace. Thus hindering my studying. All these studying would go down the drain. I will be independent.

I also realised that I dont know what I'd do without him. My pillar of support, my pool of faith. Thats where I get all my smiles from. I admit, I am dependent. (Hence, my state today) I really dont know if thats a good or a bad thing. In a relationship, if one's happy, the other cant be sad. It doesnt work that way. In some sense, it's a form of being dependent on one another. Isnt it? I dont know what to do.

I've been keeping strong. I'm trying hard not to let myself fall, especially during these 8 days before my chinese O's. I know myself best, perhaps? Please help me? Take it as my plea. I'll do my part to be as happy as possible. I dont wanna see you sad as well. Okay? (:

I love you baby. I really really do. Thank you for everything you're doing for me. I dont know if I really deserve it all. But please take care. My heart would ache. <3

2006-05-20T17:19:00.000+08:00

My heart aches for my Geography. Who in her right mind would afford to make a mistake like this? I did the wrong question. Parts (A) and (B) were of the right question. (C) unfortunately wasnt. WTF ANGELA. Thats five. Five whole precious marks, gone, poof! Just like that. Oh what a heartache. I cant stand myself sometimes. How does everyone stand me?

I hate myself. I know I can do so much better, but I just cant seem to achieve it. Bye computer darling. I'm gone.

Please, its all for your own good.
Stop mulling.
These are the confessions.

Three guesses why I'm blogging so much.

9 more days to my chinese O levels. I'm scared. I cant let anything affect me now. ~~I need to put my heart and soul into Chinese.~~ I cant. I wont be able to take the results come this August/September. I trembled at the thought of it. ):

2006-05-20T12:09:00.000+08:00

I hate this world. I dont understand why people have to live in this rat race, fast paced, crazy society? Why cant it be like how it was? Without so much hatred, competition, need for speed and pursuit of education?

I wish that someone can say STOP. Stop how fast this world is moving towards its destruction. What happen to those happy innocence times? Despite the many troubling news that shows how our Earth is depleting. How global warming is gonna kill us someday. The world doesnt wanna stop going.

I'm going crazy. In Singapore alone, the students are going bonkers. The adults are going insane over the greed of earning more money. I am not saying money nor education is bad. But too much is suicide. How many people actually commit suicide over money and education? In the pursuit of education, many students actually forget values. Values that should be instill in us all and kept close to our hearts. Selfishness. Self centerness. Bragging. Isnt it so common? Wtf. You're smart, SO?! You're earn lots of money, live in a big fat house, and have NO friends. HAHA. Bastard.

"Learning is fun" Since when?! In my fucking years as a student. Learning is NEVER fun. No matter how they made it out to be. It's supposed to be. Yes. But the way you push and expect us to score this and that. You kill the joy in it. "I expect you to give this this this.. and YOU BETTER." Fuck you. I want learning to be a joy, a privilege, but YOU just dont want it to fun for us huh.

Everyone blames us. Us for the bad results. Us for the bad attitude. Us for the bad learning habits. But who harnessed it all? Who killed the joy in it? Who made achieving high academic excellence such a privilege that only the ones worthy are to enjoy it? Who threatens us with all sorts of nonsense. Who said everyone must study this hard to earn the big bucks to enjoy life? Who made it this way! Why cant we learn for the joy of learning it and earn money but not for the sake of living a good life.

Okay. I'm being a little nonsensical. But, I want to learn! THEY, dont want to make it a joy for us. And we're all caught in this crazy fast paced world with a misconception that "If you study hard, you'd enjoy life." What's with getting the best in everything!! What's with studying so HARD?!

I dont understand.

But, just stop it, will you?

My heart aches for you.

2006-05-19T16:12:00.000+08:00

When disappointment sets in, and hope seems so far away. Small little sweet things like these really brightens me up and send those gloomy clouds away. Thank you so much baby. You have no idea how much this means to be. I love you! (:

Alright. I survived a week of endless chinese drills. Every single day, for approximately 2 whole hours, we have to learn chinese. Chinese. Of all things. Yes, I know the damn O levels are coming and we ought to have more revision on it. But still? And yes Mrs I-am-Principal-and-I-can-shout-all-I-want is such a walking contridiction. Make up your mind! Sheesh. Hello. We are already subjecting ourselves to your torturing ramblings about HOW YOU WANT TO GIVE UP. Fucking give up if you badly want to! Shouting and knocking sense into our heads now, is useless. Absolutely useless. Do what you want. And we wont fuck care. I just sat there during her lecture. Half sleeping and totally stoning. I DIDNT HEAR A SINGLE THING. Happy?

Chinese is not like WOOT, totally exciting! The teachers dont try to make it any better for us. Why dont you ask yourself. Why is SAC's chinese standard dropping consecutively? Our fault? Then what have you been doing to make it better for us? Making chinese more boring than it already is. Hur. You blame everything on us. It's just us us us and more of us. The only time credits go to the teachers, is when we do well. Not very fair, is it.

English : -
Chinese : C5
Emaths : -
Amaths : F9
P. Chemistry : E8
Physics : C5
Biology : B4
Geography : C6
SS : -

Go ahead. Mock me. This is really not up to standard, as a O level student. :( Here's a warning to all. DONT ever try to say "I did SO SO BADLY for my amaths leh!!" especially when you jolly well know that you pass. FUCK YOU. I've got 20. Lowest in class and absolutely proud of it. Improvements, a little. But a lot of disappointment. Physics? I didnt study due to SS. Chemistry? I didnt study some areas well. Basically, I didnt study properly for Chem. The rest are alright, but can be better though.

Never show off your results in front of me. I'll assure you, you'll be walking into a lion's den.

I've decided not to find anything to occupy my time during the June holidays. I dont care if people say I have no life. Well, sec 4s arent even suppose to have one. Thats how the society made it out to be. I'm desperate to form a study group and study out. My house is full of distractions and whatnot. It's the worst place to be in. Anyone?? Please please please! I'm going all out to beg!

My baby would be working then. He wont be very much free though he begs to differ. I'd feel bad bugging him. Very. He has lots to juggle. ~~And me? The excess baggage.~~ I wish I wouldnt be a burden.

But my shopping plans are still on! I'll never forgo that! Heh! I cant wait till baby's birthday! (: I'll plan it all out... WHEEY!!

2006-05-18T16:58:00.001+08:00

Rusty the rat!

Our little love bites!

One more look before it goes into the fridge!

The hot chocolate baby made for MEEE! (:

Rusty and his ice buffet. Haha.

With love.

The pictures tell it all! Rusty got a haircut and boy he does look very different. That poor thing looks so skinny. Lotsa fun on Tuesday!! (:

Went to his house again and Wed with the initial plan of catching Scary movie. But we caught shrek instead! So sweet! Hee. Baby and I cooked up an instant meal again. Yummy. Thank you baby for yesterday!! It was alot of fun huh? *winks* He walked me home! Yayness. (:

And now. Results for my Chemistry, Physics and Biology is out. I am utterly disappointed in myself. But I saw it coming so the shock's not really there. Sigh. When can I ever surpass my standards? Okay, maybe Bio is acceptable. But the others...?

Sigh.

I'm missing you loads baby!

2006-05-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

I feel like I've let my blog down!
Tomorrow! I promise I'd blog a proper one!
(:

Just a random thing,
but seriously,
tell me the POINT of going to school now.

YOU'RE ALL WASTING MY TIME.
Stop it. (:

2006-05-16T09:34:00.000+08:00

I totally ignored the easier way.
I had to learn it the hard way.

Sometimes both of us are very adamant in our views.
Sometimes it doesnt help being this at all.
What happened to the little give in's?
We promised.

But nonetheless,
Thank you baby.
I love you, loads.

2006-05-15T18:50:00.000+08:00

[edit]

Music heals my broken soul

[/edit]

I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED.
NO, DONT TALK TO ME!
GO AWAY.
*SCREAMS*

No. Noo. This is not happening.
This... cant be.
Its not just a mere paper.
Its all my HOPE.
MY FAITH.

ALL GONE.
*POOF*

I am going to coop myself in my room.
I AM NOT JOKING.

It suddenly seemed like
the impact of it multipled.
By ALOT.

I FAILED MYSELF,
ONCE AGAIN.

I have not cried my fill.
Please, stand by me now.
My world can crash down if I want it to.
But I'm keeping strong.
Keeping strong for you.
Feelings of lost fills me now.
Will you help me find my way?
Say it if its worth saving me.
:(

2006-05-14T14:08:00.000+08:00

This is probably the most utterly boring sunday ever.

Went for mass with my mum and all. I saw baby serving! HE WAS SO CUTE. I just kept staring at the altar throughout mass. La la la. Waited for baby with Joanna and we went off for Cat class. Oh how I missed it!! Heehee. But they dont really wanna let us go huh? Post Confirmation classes. Fun! Danielle and Auntie Agnes brought snacks for us all! Yayness. Food for my hungry tummy. I bet Ian was scared off by my voracious appetitie! I just kept eating. (:

Baby and I then went off to get roses for our mothers! I'm supposed to pay la! Oops. Then he waited for my bus to come, and afterwards go off for a game of dota. Pretty roses! Upon reaching home, the first question my mum has to ask is "eh, why are you alone?" Then my aunt asked too. I am NOT gonna be so over dependent. I am so fucking irritating sometimes, yanno?

I am very annoyed with my head. Plus, cousins talking so loudly? Fuck you. Like shut up! I wanna sleep. Badly.

@6.24pm
I slept for a long time. Oh my goodness. This is very bad. I need sleeping pills, pronto. I'll be a very happy girl if I can carry on sleeping normally tonight. Oh well. Baby called whilst I was sleeping. I have no idea what I said to him, except that I am sleeping. Haha. And I had the strangest dream ever. It left me shaken. =/

Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream..
Really do come true..

15 days to MT O level.
Can you make the feeling last forever?

2006-05-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

Headed down to Bugis with Baby, Sam, Joanna and ME! I so overslept today! Haha. And baby and I woke up almost the same time! (: Sorry baby, for dampening the mood at the train earlier. Bugis was almost deserted! Oops! So we went off to the arcade. I WAS SO LEADING AT THE CAR GAME. 1st! Then Joanna and Baby sped off, without me! GRR! Sam didnt wanna play. Haha. In the end, I came in last. ): We also played House of the Dead 4, which we totally sucked at. And street fighter was my forte! Baby so beat me in it today. Haha. Fine. I'll let my sweetheart off today. Hees.

Walked to Bugis street and to our dismay, many shops werent open yet. Baby then told me that its like a night market. ): Oh MAN. I wanna head back down one of this days! We walked on to the temple and Sam went it for a while. My cramps were acting up again! Sheesh. We also went to OG, and all we did was walk and walk somemore. The stuff there are really auntie-like. Oh, and EEYORE!! EEEEEYORE! (: Cutie. We went back to Bugis street and thankfully some shops are opened! I bought a tee! Pretty! $16 only! Way cool. Sam bought a tee too. I wanna get a tie someday. Nice. There were some sex toy shops and obviously we couldnt go in. Haha. A monk was standing outside the shop, asking for donations. Like wth? I saw a NICE PUMA BAG! I dont know if its real or fake, but its $58! It cant be fake then.. but its nice, and I WANT IT. Heehee!

Since many shops were still close and only opens at 2, we went back to Bugis Junction. I bought my mum a pretty lipstick. I hope the colour suits her. Oh please say it does. I want her to have a change of colours, but I know her change has to be very minimal. Oh well. Branded makeup is absolutely expensive! Guess what! As baby and I were resting on this bench outside the 'bubble' lift, Joanna called. So she asked where are we. I replied, at the bubble lift. And then we realised that we are sitting back to back! They're so sitting at a bench behind the pillar that is behind us! Haha! Hilarious!

Our legs were aching alot. So we decided to rest at Starbucks. Oh, baby and I wanted to stand in the middle of the fountain and kiss! Aww. Sweet aint it? Hee! Another day perhaps love! I ordered the cheapest thing avaliable in starbucks. Steamed milk. So embarrassing! But I like it all the same! Milk never tasted this good. After giving our legs a good rest, we headed home. I send baby to church! How nice. Heehee.

And this is what we took at the neoprint shop ....

2006-05-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

Bestie hit a raw nerve yesterday. Yeah, perhaps Baby and I have been through countless talks together about this. Perhaps. And I was mulling over this yesterday night.

I reflected on the lesson I had earlier on that day. Baby was trying to encourage me to cycle. I kept on saying how scared I was. I was very scared of falling down and hurting myself in the process. However, deep down inside, I really knew I can do it. I know I am very much capable of achieving it, but I couldnt bring myself to believe that I can. Because I feel so insecure with just two wheels. He, however, was beside me, pushing me to my limits. I really appreciated it. So, I tried. Again and again. Each time I tried, my heart was racing and I was really afraid though I know I had my legs to support me.

Sometimes, the fear of certain things hinder me. You know it. I'm just very afraid of the process. But whats the process compared to the end? It's scary, it may hurt, but as long as you have a little faith, its possible.

I'll believe.

2006-05-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Her : I WANNA LEARN HOW TO WAKEBOARD!
Him : But there's no challenge in it!
Her : Precisely.

Haha. I cant wait to make our little munchy love bites and our pretty bookmarks! <3
[edit]

Angela Maryann Lim can finally cycle! Shit, it's so embarrassing! Heh! Credits to my baby. I swear! The other times I learned how to cycle, I didnt succeed. Today, he was there, and WOOHOO! (:

Today was fantabulous! Went with my family and baby to Pasir Ris Park for a picnic. I've never called a family outing 'FUN' till baby came along. HAHA. After breakfast, we set out cycling. Baby rented blades, and I cycled. I started learning with him pushing me. Not literally pushing, though. I'm glad you did that sweetheart, even if I resent it. Hee. So off we went. My cousin came along as well. So the three of us kept going round Pasir Ris Park. At one point we were so dehydrated! We've reached the dead end and there was no kiosk nearby. Dang. As I was cycling, I was obviously the faster one, so both of them with sore feet were much slower. My poor baby. Alright, so I was sitting at the bench, feigning that I was mad. But baby thought I was serious. Sorry.. (: We went off to the maze garden too. I was kinda curious and yeah, cut my leg in the process. My cousin fell on my bike that in turn cut me. Suay. It's the biggest cut that I got and I was yelping in pain! Thanks to my baby who had a plaster! Or my leg would be dripping in blood.

We finally got our water and baby took the bicycle for pairs. And he totally cycled me back! Yay. My hero! Thank you!! Heehee. I wasnt doing anything except to hang his blades round my neck and my hands were hurting! Wth. Got back and slacked awhile in the tent. Had our mini lunch. Then baby and I went to sit at the grass. Lovely chat there. We then went over to the beach! Played with the sand and all! Found pretty shells. We found a butterfly one (in a pair). And we broke it after making a wish, so each one has one shell! LOVELY! I gave him one pretty mini shell! I rather he have the PRETTY shell! (:

Thanks for spending today with me love.
*hugs*

2006-05-11T17:55:00.000+08:00

I was in such agony earlier. Thank you baby for the panadol and the hot chocolate. Just came back from his house. We played hide and seek! Like HAHA. I was so afraid that he'd jump out from somewhere and scare the daylights out of me! We played the com later. I like the song "What if" and he recorded my version of it. (: Bet it sounded awful. And I think I hurt Rusty's leg! That poor boy! I kept apologizing. Baby allowed me to leash him and race Rusty to the lift. So fun! I got sent home in a cab. Thanks baby! *hugs*

And so, this is the end of the exam period. HOORAY? This is just the very beginning of the DARK DARK DAYS. Haha, nah. Very soon, our results would come back, and that itself is enough to kill me. Not literally, but we'll see how I take it yeah? It'll be days when I'm at my weakest, and I really cant handle any more problems. All I'll need is you by my side.

I know whats coming for me.

I have a long list of "To-do's" for the June holidays. I dont think I can EVER achieve it though. Not saying that I cant, but rather, there's no time. Well, here goes.

1. Cycling!
2. Swimming. I need to clear the flabs.
3. Lovely outings *
(I wanna relive those days..)
4. BIG shopping sprees.
5. Study outings with ?? (Takers anyone? PLEASE?)
6. A concert!

I cant think of anything else. Argh, this is rather pathetic. Both Sam and Joanna wanna study at home. I dont blame them, I mean, different people have different tactics. But I need GROUPS. I so dont understand amaths! Amaths and Emaths groups will be so cool. I mean, you're in a group and if you dont know how to do this question, you can conveniently ask the rest! Oh Lord.

All I want, is a GOOD june holidays. That's enough to last me till the O-levels. And right after that, I'll go crazy and curse the teachers I hate. Haha. What fun. Oh well. I'm saving up loads. Gonna shop, till I drop! Haha. Baby'll drop first. (:

Sometimes I cant stand myself being such a hopeless romantic. Fetish for sweet love songs, dreaming of things only possible in fairytales. I hate myself for being so naive. What are those romantic novels anyway? Fiction! A pretense that does not represent actuality. Wake up, this is the 21st century! Not Romeo and Juliet era. No more, "where art thou my romeo". Stop indulging in your childhood fantasies.

18 more days to O level MT.
Ever felt the torment of disappointment?

2006-05-10T17:24:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I wanna go to the MOS thingy on 30th May!

I have been doing too much thinking nowadays. I wish there's a "stop" button in my brain.
[/edit]

You know? My mouse and speakers is officially working again! Some fucktard switched off the switch for the speakers. I had to trace the wires all the way to the source. And, global warming is really having a big impact now. Last month, it was raining cats and dogs almost everyday, and now, it's so HOT. As you know, when normal people feel its hot, Angela Lim usually disagrees? So now I really know how f-hot it is. Imagine how it's like for them. I know it's suppose to be nearing the hot season now, but this is a tad too hot isnt it? And I hate fans. Childhood thing, dont know why. But I cant turn on the air con because my mum is at home, and yes she will nag. Man.

I really did screw up my Amaths paper! I'm not one of those type who says that I will fail! Yes I will and pass with flying colours in the end. My answers are one liners. Blanks everywhere. I completed only one out of all the questions avaliable. This is how bad I did. All I want now is not to get a zero. Please, hell no. It doesnt matter if I pass or fail. Just not that number. Oh, I did an anagram because my paper was difficult and every single question is practically unsolvable. Try this. A gel is an eels hop. Haha. Figure it out.

Well, Baby and I did some sort of reality check yesterday. It just dawned upon me that there is so many more years to go! Like oh my. A test of time. It's not so simple. What have we got? Poly education. 3 years. I'd be one ahead. I really wish I wasnt. A lot of trust, heaps of it is gotta be put into it. Well, not saying that I dont trust and all (Of course I trust him!!) .. but its more than just that. Critical yet a very good indicator. Next up, his NS. Haha. Yeah yeah, every guy in Singapore has got to go through this. I dont like the silly trips that take them away to some foreign country. For weeks. Test #2?

Couples in long-term relationships really are strong. I have yet to find out what keeps them going. Thats one thing that leaves me in awe. Somehow when couples are together for a long time, everything is somewhat taken for granted. Correct me if I'm wrong though. Pleases and thank yous, gone. All the little romantic surprises, sweet nothings, none. The onset of love is sweet no doubt. So, what is it that actually keeps them going? (I am NOT referring to any examples in this!! Please dont get me wrong!) I wish everyday could be like the start of a relationship, and not just the start of it. Very soon, problems, quarrels would start settling in too. That's when the relationship starts to feel its weariness. No one likes that. Friction is bound to occur, yes, but other obstacles brings it down too.

I want a love that can last. I want a love that can I can love back. People search their whole lifetime for this. But I found mine. We'll hold on together. I love you baby. Always.

M

2006-05-09T19:26:00.000+08:00

My mouse isnt working, my speakers died on me. The computer just cant get any better huh. I've been navigating around the internet and whatnot entirely on my keyboard. Behold the wonders. The BEST THING THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN IS I AM DEPRIVED OF MUSIC. Except my beloved MP3 given by my beloved boy. But I have not uploaded the latest songs yet! Rah.

That thing HAS to come when my papers are so fucking long. Like papers that lasts 2 hours or more are placed this week. It's pissing me off! Cramps during papers and all. So i-r-r-i-t-a-t-i-n-g!

Baby came over today! Final destination 3 was GORY. Absolutely. Haha. Had lotsa fun snacking and snacking! Thank you dearest. Hee! (: He said I was mean to my mum though. I dont know. Am I mean? That's our normal behaviour, I guess. Sigh. I wasnt exaggerating when I described my experiences with his family. As compared to mine, it's really awfully depressing.

I'm so tired of everything doing anything about it. I really really am. I tried, failed, cried. Dont push me, please. To make this going isnt gonna only require my effort. What about them.

Alright, lets not get started with the melanchony mood. I've finally got my kit kat cherry blossom! I love the packaging!! I dont ever wanna open it now. (: It's off to more mugging!

<3 <3 <3

2006-05-07T18:07:00.000+08:00

You know? Sometimes, I really hate Angela Maryann Lim. I absolutely detest her. Like what the fuck, who does she think is? I'm sorry for how she turned out to be. She's everything you dont ever want her to be.

I'm gonna drive myself crazy mugging. It's killing me. I'm terribly stressed out now. I need a hug.

2006-05-07T08:33:00.000+08:00

We took this picture on confirmation, at baby's parent's office! Pretty? (:

Yesterday was a blast! It was his parents anniversary and yeap lotsa drinking. I LIKE. The food was great as well. Oliver, also aka OLI, is very good at being an irritant. I swear. I was trying to be nice though. He kept kicking me constantly and yes, loves to disturb this poor innocent soul. Everyone teased about Oli wanted to ask for my number! Haha! It was funny. Baby darling tried to protect me of course. (: Sweetie.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the lychee with the mandarin vodka and soda water. I like drinks with alcoholic content but you wouldnt be able to taste it, like yanno? Yeap. Watched bits of Parents trap while taking pictures with baby! It was fun, right? HAHA. I guess I was the only one enjoying it! Many pictures are now in Oli's phone. But, I WANT. There's one awfully goth picture of us. I look scary. Terribly. Then we tried the "I-really-dont-know-how-to-spell-it" alchoholic drink. Kinda like shots. 40% alcoholic content. But of course I took only like one and a half cup. The feeling when the drink goes down your throat is addictive. Like, whoa. Baby downed so many shots! Man, I so wanted to try downing more. But I absolutely cant go back drunk. I guess I better not test my limits as a first-time drinker. (:

WOOT. Thank you baby! <3

2006-05-06T14:42:00.000+08:00

My family left me completely void.
Void : n A feeling or state of emptiness, loneliness, or loss.
Once more.
That empty space.
How I hate it.

Angela can be very wilful,
I know. I admit, I am.
No, not spoilt,
just simply wilful.

What I need is not just material needs.
Yanno?
):

2006-05-05T16:54:00.000+08:00

[edit]
I'm dreaming of a romantic night.
With you everything feels just right.
With the starry sky and your arms round me tight,
and the music nearby playing a sweet melody.
A beautiful day thats coming to an end.
But not our love,
Cos we're going make this last forever. <3
[/edit]

Yes, sorry I left my blog at the Fuck you entry. (:
I shall blog about, yesterday!

Our paper finished early and I met up with baby at Bedok Inter. Ate at Macs for breakfast. And please, please remind me not to, never ever, drink the coffee, ever again. I got terrible indigestion afterwards! Then, we went to watch Mission Impossible 3! The movie was nice! So action packed and the gadgets are whoa. But my stomach was churning and ow, hurting. Plus the cameraman is running too! Which shakes the screen terribly. I got giddy soon afterwards. Rah. Haha. But it was still exciting!!

We then left for Parkway for baby to cut his hair. Saw Samantha and her friend on 196! Baby bought pretzels for me! Yummy! Thank you sweetheart! I accidently chose the preminum pretzel and it was $0.60 more expensive. Oh dang. Hee. Sat, ate and waited for baby to get his hair done! (: I was chewing contently at my pretzel!

Oh, and these are the things I so wanna do after the exams! Get a white, pink, blue, green, brown, and red top! Haha. Sounds crazy huh? Nah, its just the colours. And shorts and a lot more skirts and lastly, a decent pair of jeans. People always say that I wear skirt. Well, besides that I like to wear it, I've got nothing else you see! Oh, and to cut my hair and shape my eyebrows. Getting pretty out of shape. Sigh. Haha. And the birenstock(sp?) slippers are for my MUM to get. A fucking 100 bucks. Expensive for such a PRETTY SLIPPER!! Heh.

But for now,
Angela Maryann Lim shall study.
):

28APR - EL(1) ; MT(1)
2MAY - EL(2) ; MT(2)
3MAY - SS ; PHYSICS
4MAY - EMATHS
5MAY - GEOGRAPHY
8MAY - AMATHS ; BIO
9MAY - EMATHS ; CHEM
10MAY - AMATHS ; CHEM
11MAY - PHY/BIO ; MT(3)

<3s to my baby boy.

2006-05-03T17:24:00.000+08:00

WHAT A
FUCKING
BITCH!!

FUCKING ASKED THAT BITCH TO GRAB SOME STUFF FOR ME IN THE ROOM SEEMED LIKE A TASK THAT'S SO FUCKING DIFFICULT. WHATS SO COMPLICATED ABOUT IT?! ITS JUST A BOOK. PLUS, YOU WERE USING SOME DUMB WEBCAM TALKING TO FUCKING IMMATURE FRIENDS AND I WAS IN A MESSY STATE, HENCE I DO NOT WANT TO STEP INTO THE ROOM. DAMN IT. YOU FUCKING ENVY CLOSE SISTERS HUH? I'LL MAKE SURE I'M ONE SISTER FROM HELL! STOP YOUR FUCKING PATHETIC RANTS ON YOUR BLOG LIKE, OH HOW I WISH I HAD ONE SISTER I CAN SHARE SECRETS WITH. YOU MOTHERFUCKER! YOU THINK YOU'LL OH SO SAD AND YOUR SISTER IS ALL SO BAD? I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF I'M DEPICTED AS ONE. COS MY FUCKING SISTER IS NOT ANY BETTER. AT LEAST USE PROPER ENGLISH TO REBUKE ME.

I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN TOLERATE YOUR NONSENSE. COS ITS FUCKING IRRITATING. CARRY ON YOUR I'M QUEEN SO THEREFORE, YOU SLAVES SHALL ALL LISTEN TO ME! ME! AND ONLY ME! I'LL FUCKING SLAP YOU RIGHT OVER. DONT YOU DARE TRY ME, I'LL TELL YOU. BRAT.

THAT BITCH
IS SUCH A
PAIN IN
THE ASS.

FUCK OFF LA.

2006-05-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

[edit]
Angela is greatly perturbed.
Like fuck myself!
I cant sleep, cant study, cant watch tv!
Fucking irritating.
Now that I'm so pissed off with everything,
you better not come near me..
ARGH.
I'm currently forcing myself to study,
so, GOODBYE WORLD.
[/edit]

Monday was much fun thanks to my dear boy! (:
A day of magic.
"You're the worst audience a magician can ever get!"
Haha. Fine. I wanted to solve the trick.
It's all just an illusion.
You'll never know whats in magic!
Heehee.

Oh, english and chinese paper 2 sucked!
I went sleeping through them,
cos I hardly slept much the night before.
Thank you baby for being there for me.
*HUGS*

And today,
SS AND PHYSICS.
I barely studied much!
Fuck. (:
Please please dont let me do badly..
Oh well.

28APR - EL(1) ; MT(1)
2MAY - EL(2) ; MT(2)
3MAY - SS ; PHYSICS
4MAY - EMATHS
5MAY - GEOGRAPHY
8MAY - AMATHS ; BIO
9MAY - EMATHS ; CHEM
10MAY - AMATHS ; CHEM
11MAY - PHY/BIO ; MT(3)

And there's still so many left..

2006-05-01T20:06:00.000+08:00

CONFIRMATION!!
(:
Woke up fresh and early in the morning.
Yes, I couldnt sleep.
Oh wells. Haha.
Dolled up and all.
Then Sam and Steph came!!
They did their hair too!
My aunt came over early and bought food!
I borrow her pretty pretty necklace.
La la.
We were, erm late. Hee!
To our horror,
everyone was in class already!
So la dee dum dum.
Everyone was settled in the church.
Baby was sitting very near me!
We're officially confirmed,
after the annointing of the oil!!
Yay!
I spot a group of 4-eighters!
Woot! Thanks babes!!
I'm seriously considering
joining a ministry..
Haha. I hope the Yo's wanna too.
But it doesnt seem like the same anymore.
Everyone's starting to drift apart! =(

After confirmation and all,
we went to baby's parents's office!
Everyone was there,
congratulating us and all!
(: (: (:
They actually gave me ang baos too!
Heehee. They shouldnt have...
But yeap. I HAD FUN THERE!!
Oli was irritating. Poking me and all.
Fine, I'm not a stranger anymore. (:
LOTS OF FUN ANYWAY!
Baby's mum gave me a LOVELY PRESENT.
I SWEAR!!
I like it a lot a lot a lot!!
Pretty little thing!!
Hee.
And so, I got a lift home!
Felt so reluctant to leave.
I miss baby.
LOADS.

Knowing the fragilty of this precious little thing,
makes the heart beating inside of me ache.
This little thing contains my everything.
Everything I ever wanted.
I wish there is some way to assure myself.
And not let my little mind wander.
But everytime the precious little thing
fills me with so much joy, love, fun,
the more I cant afford to lose it.

I'm sorry my thoughts drifted to that side,
again.
I couldnt help it.
But.. I love you baby!! <3

2006-04-30T17:06:00.000+08:00

To * :
I'm sorry, but it all means nothing anymore.

Tomorrow's confirmation! I'm rather nervous I must say! LA LA! Where are the 4-eighters! No one's going! HUMPHH. Is studying all that matters to you now? I wont be going for YOUR confirmation if not the exception of Debbie. Sheesh. I was fuming when I heard it from her mouth pls. I mean I dont force people to go. Like sam! I understand her plight! (:

It's not me to be so petty, yes. FUCK NERDS. I'll kick you all to pluto! Go there! Shoo! Hahah! Alright, ONE MORE DAY TO CONFIRMATION! *crosses fingers* I'm been praying for that day. I'll be confirmed as a catholic then! Yay!

Now, back to studying! Hee. What a turn off, seriously.
But oh well.

I miss you..

2006-04-30T12:12:00.000+08:00

(:
I went on a shopping spree!
Wheey!
My parents were nice.
See baby, it's so easy to 'hong' me!
It's abit too easy for you huh?
*cheeky grin*
Anyhoo, I bought lotsa stuff!
I'm gonna get more espirit tees!
Pretty and only $19.90!
Save save save!

Went for mass with my family.
My sister was laughing throughout.
I dont know whats so funny!
Haha, but oh well.
Baby served the 11am one.
And I met up with him for awhile.
It was GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!
I got such a lovely hug!
Thank you!!
(: (: (:

Now, off to ~~studying~~,
I'm reading the Da vinci!
Haha. Alright, I shall study.
Then to the GYM!
AHA!

2006-04-29T12:21:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna kill that person who woke me up! YOU BUGGER. Dont you realised that you would wake people up from their beauty sleep?! Dont you realised how you would spoil someone's day just with your stupid meaningless call?!
WhatAFucker!

I'm still generally happy on the whole!
Completed the chapters I dont understand,
with my tuition teacher!
Chinese is next.
Bah.

2006-04-28T18:45:00.000+08:00

I actually went window shopping on the first day of exam.
Oh my. (:

~~28APR - EL(1) ; MT(1)~~
2MAY - EL(2) ; MT(2)
3MAY - SS ; PHYSICS
4MAY - EMATHS
5MAY - GEOGRAPHY
8MAY - AMATHS ; BIO
9MAY - EMATHS ; CHEM
10MAY - AMATHS ; CHEM
11MAY - PHY/BIO ; MT(3)

The second week is rather heavy. I shall start now!

Anyhoo, I'm gonna drag my mum for shopping somehow. I saw MANY NICE THINGS PLS! Haha. Hopeless shopper. Oh well. The Da Vinci is starting to get interesting! But I've got no time to read!! Gr!

I LOVE YOU BABY!!

2006-04-27T17:48:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the very start of the MYE.
It doesnt even feel like it!
I'm still in my little island,
actually day dreaming about going out!
WHAT!
I'm a tad too relaxed!

Alright, fine.
Relax all you want,
but tomorrow's still the MYE.
=x
I'm gonna pray longer tonight,
and sleep early. (Yes please)

AND AFTER TOMORROW'S PAPER..
I'LL GO OUT!
HAHAH.
BUT I'M SO BROKE!
DONATIONS!!

(Is it just me,
or is everyone feeling it too?)

Alright alright,
I shall go study.
Wish me luck!

Dont you see baby, this is perfection.

2006-04-26T17:44:00.000+08:00

I'm glad we ~~thrash~~ talked it out yesterday.
At least I know how your feeling.
I'm EXTREMELY OVER THE MOON,
to hear that I'm making your life a fairytale!
(:

I'm gonna live my life differently now.
I'm gonna show how much I love you,
and how much you've changed my life,
for the better!

HAPPY
FOURTH
MONTH
BABY!

Baby got into trouble! He missed school without permission. NAUGHTY! So, I was trying very hard to think of a solution for him. Nothing could come out. But afterwards, he was being effing worried again, so I kinda sprouted some nonsense that actually turned out to be an ingenious plan! WOOHOO! I'm so glad! (:

Went over to his house and cooked him a meal! Well, yes, I know its instant, but hey I tried! And its not just another maggi mee. It's pasta! Haha! (: Sorry baby, I cant cook for nuts. But I'll learn! Rusty was uberlicious cute! He understands my commands now, but yeah fine, the owner's always the owner. No one else but the owner. Haha. He wanted me to pay! No, not literally, but its payback time! Haha. I swore I wouldnt use my cold fingers to freeze him, but I still did it again, purposely. *WINKS* I had lotsa fun! Thank you for loving me baby.

I LOVE YOU,
LIKE NONE OTHER.
<3

2006-04-25T19:53:00.000+08:00

If one of us have to die,
I'd rather me.
Dont kill that part of you, for me.

A behaviour instill since young,
takes time to change.
I need time.

Meanwhile, all I ask of you,
is your understanding and your paitence.
And of course, your help.

Right now,
things like these, hurt.
~~You'll never know how much.~~
I dont know how much you feel.
But I'll try,
I'll give you my word.

I love you baby.
Its true.

2006-04-25T19:30:00.000+08:00

Do you see the little girl crying?
The little girl crying
alone in the corner.
No, no one to hold on to.
No one to hold her tight
and say, its gonna be alright.

Her bloody scars,
her beautiful face stained,
her sorrowful eyes.
I wonder why.

I'll have to leave it all aside for now.
I HAVE TO I HAVE TO!!
I CANT LET THIS FUCKING THING AFFECT ME.
NO, NOT NOW.

I dont wanna show my depression about the mid years. I'm supressing it again. I cant let them down another time. Please, no. I'm begging you. I'll kowtow, I'll do anything. Please. I'm very desperate. IF, I do badly for this mid years. I dont know how I'll handle it. I know why I'll do so badly, I know myself, but I cant take the disappointment, again.

Let tomorrow worry for itself.
But I cant stop it for affecting me.